Confession

(Below is a poem, entitled Confession, that I wrote in 2005, the year I became a Christian.)

I'm baring my soul because no one can see;
No one would ever guess this is me...


I put on a smile and pretend I'm all that,
That as far as life goes, I've got it down pat

I'm in love with this image I've worn for so long,
Everyday saying that nothing is wrong

But inside I'm waging a war all my own
I feel frustrated, depressed, and alone

It's certainly not that there's no one to care,
They just can't see past the mask that I wear

On the outside I'm smart, mature and well-meaning;
On the inside I'm angry, unsure, and I'm screaming

No one would guess at what runs through my head--
If I cannot be perfect, I'd rather be dead

No one would guess how I hate what I see
When my reflection is staring back at me

I'd invite temptation and then cry when I fell,
But there's no one I'd trust-- no one I'd tell

I'm too busy pretending that I am the best,
That I know it all and can counsel the rest

People ask my advice and are bettered
While I am still standing shackled and fettered

But the worst of it is that I cannot explain
All this frustration and all of this pain

So I simply keep silent; it's easier this way--
Who would I tell what I don't know how to say?


I'm baring my soul because no one can see;
No one would ever guess this is me...