"So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!"
-1 Corinthians 10:12, NIV
How often I have read this verse and shuddered! There is a certain temptation that torments me like Paul's thorn in the flesh; its usual method of attack is a daily assault. It can begin the moment I awaken, or even before, and often continues throughout the day into the night. I get no rest and no peace; I am constantly fighting. I become so weary during these seasons of hard fighting; I use up all my strength, and I lean on my comrades, and I desperately cry out to my God. He is pleased to give me the victory.
However, this temptation also has a subtler form of attack. When I have been victorious over this temptation for a long while, I begin to feel secure. I begin to believe that I have beaten it, or become immune to it, or that I have risen above it. Worse, I begin to become complacent. I let my guard down; I no longer think that I need the strong defense system I've built up, so I stop maintaining and bolstering it. I stop fighting. Somehow, I forget the solemn warning of St. Peter:
"Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping."
-1 Peter 5:8, MSG
I believe that Paul's warning to the Corinthian church was sound; it is precisely when I think that I am standing firm--that I have at last reached a secure place where I can lay down my armor and sword and get some shut-eye--that temptation attacks me hardest and swiftest. It has lain in wait for precisely this moment; the ambush has been set. And time and again, I walk right into the middle of it and expose my weakness. Often, I do not realize I am doing this. Like King Theoden of Rohan, I might even believe I am retreating to the safest possible stronghold:
"Saruman's arm will have grown long indeed if he thinks he can reach us here."
-Theoden, speaking of Helms Deep, from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Theoden knows that no enemy force has ever breached the Deeping Wall of Helms Deep, nor set foot in the Hornburg. It is the strongest refuge the king knows, and his pride will not permit him to consider the advice of his rescuer, Gandalf, nor his loyal and trustworthy compatriots, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli. He is king. He knows what is best for his people. Never mind that he has just been released from a long bondage to the powers of evil, has not regained his former strength, and knows nothing of the present situation. He decides to lead his people in retreat to the familiar and time-tested Keep; preparations for the flight to Helms Deep begin. He refuses even to call for aid, believing that no one will come. This decision is a mistake that would cost Rohan many lives.
The White Wizard Gandalf, knowing the trouble that lies ahead, takes his swift horse Shadowfax and rides hard after the Rohirrim, Theoden's faithful warriors, whom the king believes to have abandoned and forsaken him. Gandalf leaves a bemused yet believing Aragorn with these prophetic words:
"Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east."
-Gandalf, speaking to Aragorn, from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
And so begins the epic of the battle of Helms Deep... and so begins the fall. The temptation that besieges me is something that I have only recently broken free of; it used to control me, wreaking havoc on my life and my relationships with God and others. It filled my thoughts and dictated my habits.
"By what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved."
-2 Peter 2:19b
Through Christ's power, and the prayers and help of friends, I was freed of this temptation's control some time ago. But it did not die; it merely retreated, waiting for an opportune time to attack me again. The opportune time comes, again and again. Sometimes I stand, and sometimes I fall. Always God lifts me again, through scripture, music, and the encouragement of my friends. I gain a little strength... and that's where the real, more subtle danger creeps in. I begin to say, "I know," when my friends remind me of God's truth. I begin to say, "Been there, read that, know it," when I read God's word. I stop trusting in Him and begin to trust in myself. And I make very poor decisions as a result.
Stand up, stand up for Jesus
Stand in His strength alone
The arm of flesh will fail you
Ye dare not trust your own
("Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus," by George Duffield Jr. & George J. Webb)
Though they know the danger, and that Theoden has made a poor decision, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli remain faithful and true. They follow the king to Helms Deep, ready to fight and die along with him and alongside the warriors and people of Rohan. They voice their doubts to one another, but still they stand steadfast in their willingness to aid king Theoden in the battle to come. Help arrives just in the nick of time from an unexpected source when the host of the Eldar, led by the elf Haldir of Lorien, comes to Rohan's aid. The force allied with Theoden and arrayed against his enemy is strong.
My friends are as faithful. I know that they fight for me, even when they can see me heading the wrong direction. They warn me, but even when I do not heed them, they grimly set their faces and stick with me.
-Dialogue, my words in brackets, from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
My friends and accountability partners all have struggles of their own; some share the same struggles and wrestle with the same temptations. We all face the same Enemy. And even when we're not sure if we're all going to stand or fall, we still come alongside one another. Even when we cannot find the strength to stand up for ourselves and do what is right, our love for each other gives us strength enough to labor in prayer and do battle with the forces of evil--to intercede for and encourage one another; to speak words of truth in love.
With the enemy at the gates of Helms Deep, the men and boys prepare themselves for battle, checking armor and weaponry. Aragorn himself tests the weight and balance of one young warrior's sword, proclaiming it good and telling him sagely that there is always hope. Aragorn walks up and down the line of men and elves under his command, shouting a final set of instructions:
"Show them no mercy, for you shall receive none!"
-Aragorn, from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
In other words... give no quarter! Make no compromises with the enemy! Fight your hardest; use your utmost skill and strength! Oftentimes, I look for shortcuts when it comes to dealing with temptation. I will frequently opt for a lesser sin in order to avoid a greater; in my twisted way of thinking, the sins do not weigh equally. Or I will allow one level of sin into my life, but not another. Before God it is all the same sin, but instead of expelling the enemy and extracting evil from my life, I look to compromise. I use every excuse under the sun. Well, I gave up that other sin, didn't I? This sin is too deeply ingrained to give up all at once; these things take time. I give in to that sin far less than I used to. But if I give even an inch, then I might as well give a mile, because Satan is going to walk all over me. In resisting temptation, every small compromise, every step along the slippery path, leads to destruction.
The battle rages on, the rain pours down, and the men of Rohan and their elvish allies hold their own against the enemy onslaught. Theoden looks to the sky, and in a moment of grim pride asks quietly:
"Is this it? Is this all you can conjure, Saruman?"
-Theoden, to himself, from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The second problem in my battle with temptation is familiarity; I become accustomed to certain kinds of attacks. I expect certain environments, scenarios and people to make it either harder or easier to resist temptation. Before I even realize it, I am relying on those environments, scenarios and people either to keep me from temptation or bring me through it, rather than trusting in and relying on the power of God, which works powerfully in me. Therefore, when I recognize an attack of Satan, and I am in a strong place, I scoff and say, "Bring it on! Is that all you've got?" I would not be so boldfaced in a weak place. So where do I place my trust? In strong environments, scenarios, and people--or in an Almighty God?
Just as Theoden is speaking those words, a new threat appears--a torch-bearing Uruk-Hai running toward an explosive device set at the best of the Deeping Wall. It is not obvious to Theoden at first; in fact, it is Aragorn who first spots the danger. Unable to reach the Uruk-Hai in time, he shouts frantically to Legolas to bring down the threat, to kill him quickly. Legolas arches his bow and fires without missing three times, but the Uruk-Hai has just strength enough to complete his dreadful deed. Theoden watches in horror as the Deeping Wall is shattered by the overwhelming blast of explosive material, bodies and debris flying everywhere. The wall is breached. The enemy is invading.
How many times have I been blindsided in much the same way? I do not expect Satan's attack to come; my friends may see it coming before I do. Their prayers fly in the face of the danger like Legolas' arrows. But, not perceiving the danger, I myself do nothing. And so I am dazed and confused when my defenses are breached; when I fall suddenly into strong temptation I was not expecting. What is going on here? I hardly know. Sometimes I will shake my head to clear it, and rally myself as Theoden rallied his men with the call to draw their swords and follow him to brace the gate of the Keep.
It is in desperately tempting times like these that I most willingly reach out for the help and support of my friends. I ask for their prayers and their accountability. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective; I believe that the prayers of my friends have kept me from falling for the enemy's schemes more frequently than I can count. As Theoden turned to Aragorn and asked him to buy him some time to shore up the gate, so I ask my friends to intercede for me and buy me some time to strengthen my resistance to temptation.
However, there will come a time, like today and yesterday, when I will fall. Despite my best efforts, and the efforts of my friends, I will choose temptation's way over the path of peace, and give way to sin. I was miserable today and yesterday, sick with the knowledge of what I had done, and what it had cost, and what had been stolen from me by my enemy. Utterly dejected, I wanted to hang my head in despair and say as Theoden did when the enemy was quite literally knocking down his doors:
"The fortress is taken. It is over."
-Theoden, despairingly, from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
I was ready to surrender to sin. But thank God for the sharp words of a friend, like a slap to the face, bringing me to my senses. Aragorn fairly pounced on Theoden when the king was despairing of life and losing his vision for even the faintest hope of victory over his enemies. He shouted into the king's face:
"You said this fortress would never fall while your men defend it. They still defend it! They have died defending it!"
-Aragorn, to Theoden, from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Aragorn minces no words as he reminds the king of all those who have fought and died for him. Still dazed, Theoden voices a question born of deep hurt:
"So much death. What can Men do against such reckless hate?"
-Theoden, in a daze, from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
I have felt dazed, confused, and despairing before, in the face of the temptation that torments me. It is usually not until I have already fallen to temptation that I realize the gravity of every mistake, the verity of each of my friends' warnings and the soundness of their advice. My head fills with should-haves, could-haves and would-haves. All I wanted to do today, after I had fallen, was sit down in the middle of the barn aisle at work and cry out with St. Paul:
"What a wretched man I am!"
-Romans 7:24a, NIV
As Aragorn's eyes blaze when he hears the king voice his hopeless sorrow, so my friend's words were laced with fire as he insisted, borrowing Aragorn's words for his own:
"Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them."
-Aragorn, passionately to Theoden, from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Something stirs behind the king's eyes; his sleeping warrior spirit suddenly awakens and rises up. He meets Aragorn's gaze unflinchingly, his expression full of passion and fervor. And just as his willingness to fight is reborn, sunlight spills into the keep and Gimli the dwarf points out in an awestruck voice:
"The sun is rising"
-Gimli, awestruck, from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Gandalf's promise of rescue and redemption echoes in all of their minds. Could it be? Will he come through? Regardless, they will ride out, drawing swords together, for wrath, ruin and a red dawn, their horses at a full gallop as they charge into the fray. Just when all seems lost, when I have fallen hard into the deep and the dark, I find a sparkling promise there that bathes me in radiant light and gives me the will to fight on:
"Perhaps the LORD will help us, for nothing can hinder the LORD. He can win a battle whether he has many warriors or only a few."
-1 Samuel 14:6, NLT
As Theoden, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli ride out, hacking down enemies on every side, it soon becomes apparent that they are outmatched. They will be overwhelmed by sheer numbers. And yet they fight--oh, how they fight! What courage! Just as it seems they will die for their courage, Aragorn lifts his eyes to the horizon, where he sees a rider in white come galloping up in a blaze of glory--Gandalf on Shadowfax, with the host of the Rohirrim behind him. Theoden was never so alone as he thought himself to be.
"'Don't be afraid. The army that fights for us is larger than the one against us.'"
-2 Kings 6:16, NCV
Gandalf and the Rohirrim charge down onto the battlefield, joining the weary band that held the Keep all night, and together they soundly rout the enemy. In much the same way, my fighting spirit was roused today through the words of my friend... but the Enemy will only be driven back by the power of my God. He will deliver me; I need not fear. I will look expectantly to the horizon... and in the meantime, I will fight for all I am worth.
Amen.
wow it's really good!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to see how much Lord of the Rings parallels the Christian life. Well done!!
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