Things Not Seen

My friend

You know how this all ends

And you know where you're going

You just don't know how you get there

So say a prayer

And hold on

'Cause there's good for those who love God

And life is not a snapshot

It might take a little time

But you'll see the bigger picture

Would you dare, would you dare to believe

That you still have a reason to sing?

'Cause the pain that you've been feeling

Can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on

You've got to wait for the light

Press on

And just fight the good fight

'Cause the pain that you've been feeling

Is just the dark before the morning

("Before the Morning," by Josh Wilson)

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

-Hebrews 11:1, KJV

This past Sunday was my last week to teach Sunday school.  Once again, God kept me waiting until the last minute before presenting me with a topic.  I had prayed and searched scripture all week, but I couldn't think of what to teach until God called me out into the hayfield on Friday night to lay on my back and look up at the stars.  I have not done so since I came home from school.  I have not done so alone since last summer, prior to my freshman year at MACU.  (See Archives for "Stargazing with Abraham.")  

As I lay there, I marveled at God's beauty.  My panoramic view of the vaulting velvet sky above me made my soul very quiet.  I remembered all of God's promises; all of His plans for me; every word He has ever spoken that I have cherished and pondered in my heart.  How, I wondered, when God has been so faithful, when He has helped me thus far, could I ever doubt Him?  How could I ever waver in my faith?  How could I ever fail to believe that what He has promised, He will make good?  One the one hand, I believe and trust Him with all my heart... but on the other, it is so hard each time to ask, to reach, to step out in faith!

"'I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

-Mark 9:24, NIV

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take Him at His word

Just to rest upon His promise

Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord."

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus

O for grace to trust Him more!

("'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus," by Louisa Stead and William Kirkpatrick)

The measure of a person's faith is whether or not they live what they say they believe.  Faith without action is dead.  The first activity of faith is prayer--and what have my prayers been lately?  Few, and far between, and full of doubt.  It is so tempting to lean on my own understanding; to do only those things I believe I can handle on my own!  Do I believe that God is Who He says He is, and that He can do what He says He can do?  Yes, I believe this... and yet.  I seldom live in light of what I believe.  

As I lay there in the quiet, though, I began to understand why my faith is so small and feeble.  The longer I lay there, the more my eyes adjusted to the darkness, and the more stars became visible to the naked eye.  I was reminded of a verse:

"For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."

-2 Corinthians 4:17-18, KJV

The more I see of God, the more of Him there is to see.  He draws me ever "further up and further in" ("The Last Battle," by C. S. Lewis).  Time and time again He reminds me that there is more to my life than meets the eye.  This has been a hard summer.  It's been hard for me, and it's been hard for those I love.  I have felt the weight of my own trials, and the weight of theirs as well.  There has been much to celebrate, and much to ache over. Many victories and many defeats.  This warrior is a child; despite every battle won, oftentimes all I want to do is sit down and cry.  Yet there is this overwhelming sense of awe as I see God at work; my heart cries out, "God, what are you doing?"  

Whatever You're doing

Inside of me

It feels like chaos

But somehow there's peace

It's hard to surrender

To what I can't see

But I'm giving in

To something heavenly

Whatever You're doing

Inside of me

It feels like chaos

But I believe

You're up to something

Bigger than me

Larger than life

Something heavenly

("Whatever You're Doing," by Sanctus Real)

I had a very thoughtful Monday morning at work.  There is a driving need in my soul to know the why behind my circumstances.  I know that something bigger than me is going on here; something epic and eternal... and I want to know what it is!  As I was wondering--and muttering--quietly to myself about this while I worked, I heard the sharp rebuke of the Lord in my heart:

"Having eyes, see ye not?  And having ears, hear ye not?  And do ye not remember?"

-Mark 8:18, KJV

Jesus spoke these words to His disciples when they were worried about having no bread; I can just imagine his exasperated tone as He reminds them of the fact that He provided bread for five thousand from just five small loaves, and bread for four thousand from seven small loaves. At the call to remember, I looked back upon the past two months, upon the past year, upon the past two years.  My view again became panoramic; my spiritual eyes adjusted to take in the big picture.

Time and again God has asked me to go in the strength that I have to do what He has asked of me, simply trusting that His plans are good and that He will take care of me.  Though I have fought and fussed at Him, when I have finally loosed my white-knuckled grip on the desire to order and control my own life, He has always done more for me than I could ever have asked for or imagined.

Having wrested my attention away from my usual narrow focus and convicted me through the words from my own mouth as I taught on Sunday morning, God proceeded on Monday morning to bring to mind every good thing He has promised me that He has brought to pass; He said to me:

"'I know what I'm doing!  I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."

-Jeremiah 29:11, MSG

Though my life has recently been turbulent, full of dark places I have not wanted to go and hard things I have neither wanted to do nor had the strength to do alone, I am beginning to see the light at the end of this tunnel.  For now, I can let go the need to know why.  God's promises are good:

"We don't yet see things clearly.  We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist.  But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright!  We'll see it all then, as clearly as God sees us, knowing Him directly, just as He knows us."

-1 Corinthians 13:12, MSG

I long for that day and live in anticipation of it.  But this is my prayer for the moment:

I'm so glad I learned to trust Thee

Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend

And I know that Thou art with me

Wilt be with me to the end

("'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus," by Louisa Stead and William Kirkpatrick)