My Heart's Cry

(Below is a prayer prayed at midnight, July 29th, 2010)


Fearless warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences
The God we want and the God Who Is
Will we trade our dreams for His?
Or are we caught in the middle?


("Somewhere in the Middle," by Casting Crowns)




God...

Time to ditch the common sense.  Enough of these games.  Enough of searching for a way to better myself.  I am not an imperfect creature in need of improvement; I am a rebel who must lay down my arms.  You know my deeds; that I have been neither cold nor hot.  Because I was lukewarm, You were about to spit me out of Your mouth.  I thought I was rich and secure and strong, that I did not need a thing.  But I was wrong.  I am a poor and needy wretch, and I have been so blind.  I have walked around like the Emperor in his new clothes, shamefully unaware of my nakedness.  I need You, O Lord my God.

I need You like water
Like breath, like rain
I need You like mercy
From heaven's gates
There's a freedom in Your arms
That carries me through
I need You


("I Need You," by LeAnn Rimes)


I need from You the gold of fidelity refined in the fires of trial and the garments of purity and innocence washed in Jesus' blood.  Cover my nakedness, O God, and open my eyes.  God, I praise You for Your love and compassionate mercy, that You are relentless in Your pursuit of me.  I am grateful even for the sting of Your rebuke and the smart of Your discipline.

Oh, how You love me!  God, I pray that You will empower me to love with the same love.  All-consuming and intense, like a blazing fire many waters cannot quench.

The one thing I desire
Is just to know You more
To live a life that moves and breathes
And loves to bring You joy
So  fill me with a fire
That burns away my doubts and all my fears
Into a place where You are all I hear
It's the one thing I desire
To do what You require
Is the one thing I desire


("I Desire," by Natalie Grant)


God, empty me of me, that I might be filled with You.  You must become greater; I must become less.  You made yourself nothing for me; You emptied and poured Yourself out.  God, I pray that I might make much of You and nothing of myself.  I care nothing for even eventual exaltation; I pray that I might live my life so well that, when I come to the end of it, no one will remember my name--only that I lived to glorify Yours.

God, help me.  O Lord, I love Thee.  I am a wretch, but I love Thee.  Teach me to love You more, not with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.  You took the very nature of a servant and spent Yourself for my soul; I pray that I might do the very same thing.  No more self-righteousness.  No more hypocrisy.  Only humility, and steadfast determination to recognize, confess and glory in my imperfections, which serve only to make Your Name great.

God, content me always in my circumstances and never in my character.  Let me give You glory, honor and praise in all things, and always yield to Your power at work in me.  Make my faith like that of a child--simple, joyful and pure.  Increase it daily.  I have great need of You, and great desire to need You even more.

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more.  I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace.  I am ashamed of my lack of desire.  O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still.  Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed.  Begin in mercy a new work of love within me.  Say to my soul, 'Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.'  Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long."


-A. W. Tozer


"Christ with me
Christ before me
Christ behind me
Christ in me
Christ beneath me
Christ above me
Christ on my right
Christ on my left
Christ when I lie down
Christ when I sit down
Christ when I arise
Christ in the head of every man who thinks of me
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me
Christ in every eye that sees me
Christ in every ear that hears me"


-St. Patrick


Father, You have glorified Your Name.  Glorify it again in me, by the life I live or the death I die.  Let me bring every thought captive to You; let my every action flow out of my love for You.  Let all I do be done to the uttermost, with the strength You provide.  God, You are great; You are worthy; You  are holy, Holy, HOLY.  Your grace has been multiplied to me a thousand times, and I praise You for that; I know I shall need it a thousand times more.

Teach me to love all that You love and hate all that You hate.  Let me spend myself for the sake of the love You bear for both sinner and saint, lost and found.  God, may I exult only in You.  Let nothing please me save that You please me first.  You delight in me; may I always delight in You.  Draw near to me as I draw near to You, and let my nearness cause others to seek Your face.

God, may I care nothing at all for myself and everything for You!  May I struggle and strain to be wholly Yours, pressing onward for love of You, whether there is a prize or not.

You're all I want
You're all I need
You're Everything


("Everything," by Lifehouse)


More than my next breath
More than life or death
All I'm reaching for
I live my life to know You more
I leave it all behind
You're all that satisfies
To know You is to want to know You more


("To Know You," by Casting Crowns)


May I desire nothing save You.  God, I desire this.  Stoke this fire.  Do not let it dwindle.  Keep me burning with passion for You.  Stir my soul.  And even when I feel nothing, let me obey, for You are the Way, the Truth and the Life.  Your love is a symphony; an ache in my bones.  Be my life.  Be my breath.  Be everything else to me.  I pray that my offering might be acceptable in Your sight, my Lord and my God.