My Calling

The word of the LORD came to me, saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I set you apart. I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

"Ah, Sovereign Lord," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."

But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to, and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant. Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

- Jeremiah 1:4-10; 17 & 19

I began my walk with God on the night of August 25th, 2005. I knew then that my journey would be a hard one, and that it would not get any easier as the years went by. I knew that I couldn't wait to 'grow up' before I started trying to do great things for God.

Once, in a time of listening prayer, I heard God say to me: You have been consecrated; set apart for a single, holy purpose. Once, someone told me that they could see the anointing of God on my life. Those were difficult times for me. What did that mean? What was I supposed to do? And what if, despite the assurances of God, I fell short?

In the three years and five months of my journey as a Christian, I have been plagued by fears of failure and self-doubt. Satan lies proficiently; he tells me all the time that I haven't got what it takes. He whispers to me about what a loser I am, and how, in the moment of truth, I will turn tail and run like a coward. It's so easy to believe the lies; so easy to duck my head in submission and quietly go on with a monotonous and safe life.

But I'm not called to live a safe life. I am called to uproot and tear down wrong ways of thinking, to destroy and overthrow strongholds of Satan... and in the wake of all this to plant the seeds of the gospel and to rebuild shattered lives and give people hope.

So here I am, in the early morning hours of January 24th, 2009--and I am considering my calling yet again.