(Below is an email I sent out to my small group on March 30, 2009)
Okay... so I'm officially a week late in sending this out, but when you're grounded, you're grounded, whether you have a small group to email or not. Please forgive the delay!
Of course, I missed small group last night. I was in Elizabeth City, NC at Roanoke Bible College, doing placement testing at the college preview weekend. For those of you who don't know, I am headed off to RBC this fall to major in Cross-Cultural Ministry (Missions) and Biblical Exposition and minor in Counseling. I'm very excited; my course schedule as it stands right now is very full, but I can't wait to get started! Placement testing went well, by the way. I smile.
However, I did have my fair share of thoughts after the little 'field trip' we took two weeks ago. The one big thing that I thought we needed to address was our attitudes. I'm not going to name any names, so everybody shouldn't freak out and quote the apostles (Surely not I?), but I was rather upset by those who were stereotyping the residents of the trailer park and making jokes.
Visiting that trailer park was kind of like a walk down memory lane for me. When I was about eight years old, my family spent some time living in a 20-foot long Weekend Warrior in a very small trailer park in California. I don't remember ever thinking that we were poor, or unfortunate, or that we were deserving of pity. I'm not sure I would have understood if someone had called me 'trailer trash' or made fun of me because I lived in a trailer park, but I would certainly have been hurt and angry. We don't know why the people in the trailer park are living there. We don't need to know. But we cannot look down on them or treat them as though we are doing them some great favor out of pity. We need to treat them like neighbors, like friends.
I was equally upset by those who were goofing off. We should always approach ministry opportunities with a serious attitude and a joyful heart. I'm not anti-fun, but I do think that we have not yet grasped the seriousness of our mission here. God is opening doors for us--that much is clear. He wants us to offer ourselves to impact our neighbors in that trailer park. We need to take hold of that opportunity, and work with all our might, treating it like the precious thing that it is.
"Act like people with good sense and not like fools. These are evil times, so make every minute count. Don't be stupid. Instead, find out what the Lord wants you to do."
-Ephesians 5:15-17 (CEV)
I know that the tone of this email is somewhat harsh--I do that, from time to time. But make no mistake: I believe that you are growing and changing for the better, taking on the 'Do Hard Things' mentality for your own. I'm just trying to help you along. I am looking forward to this summer with great anticipation. I can't wait to see how this opportunity to serve and minister is going to grow you all and impact you for eternity. The best part is, even as you are learning and growing, great things are being accomplished for the kingdom of God.
I love you guys.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Holocaust Studies: Dating and the Dogs
(Excerpts from my journal are in italics and are dated.)
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in the face of it." -Smith Hempstone
Photograph: Sculpture of Eros, in Muranow Square
February 26, 2009 6:30 p.m.
After our session, we went to the cafe again, where I got into a very intense discussion with Jared regarding his present spiritual state and his attitude towards dating. He is stuck in that place where he think he might like to be a 'better' Christian, but (as he puts it) he wants the world. He seemed to listen and take to heart what I had to say... now I can only hope that he does something with it!
While I was glad that he appreciated my insight and advice, I realized my hypocrisy with a sinking heart. How can I encourage him to pray when I do not do so myself? How can I encourage his purity and selflessness, when my own are questionable? I kept telling him to call a lie a lie, and to own his decisions, but how can that carry any weight, when I myself have been living in rebellion towards God?
It was very humbling to realize that, while I can still fake it well enough to 'talk the talk,' I haven't been 'walking the the walk.' God help me! God forgive me! I cannot wear this hypocritical face before the God who sees my heart and soul.
"There are laws written on our hearts--TRUTH, whether we want to accept it or not." -Dr. Phil Johnson
What was interesting about our discussion of this particular topic was hearing everyone's views and putting them in perspective. Now, while I overheard several conversations, I am going to focus mainly on the conversations that took place between Jared Mosley and myself. Jared and I stand in opposite corners--I don't believe in dating at all, while he loves the idea!
Jared told me that he is in love with the idea of being in love--a hopeless romantic, to quote the man himself. All the warm, fuzzy feelings attached to dating are a huge attraction to him. But that's because he has bought into a lie.
"First we must understand that all of the world's deceptions flow from the belief that love is primarily for the fulfillment and comfort of self." -Joshua Harris, from I Kissed Dating Goodbye
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in the face of it." -Smith Hempstone
Photograph: Sculpture of Eros, in Muranow Square
Throughout the trip, the topic of dating kept popping up everywhere--conversations in hallways, in the streets and in the cafe. Everyone had their own opinion, and we even got Barnabas' take on it! It's funny, and hardly coincidental, that we should talk about such things in Poland. God always brings to light what we most need to learn.
February 26, 2009 6:30 p.m.
After our session, we went to the cafe again, where I got into a very intense discussion with Jared regarding his present spiritual state and his attitude towards dating. He is stuck in that place where he think he might like to be a 'better' Christian, but (as he puts it) he wants the world. He seemed to listen and take to heart what I had to say... now I can only hope that he does something with it!
While I was glad that he appreciated my insight and advice, I realized my hypocrisy with a sinking heart. How can I encourage him to pray when I do not do so myself? How can I encourage his purity and selflessness, when my own are questionable? I kept telling him to call a lie a lie, and to own his decisions, but how can that carry any weight, when I myself have been living in rebellion towards God?
It was very humbling to realize that, while I can still fake it well enough to 'talk the talk,' I haven't been 'walking the the walk.' God help me! God forgive me! I cannot wear this hypocritical face before the God who sees my heart and soul.
"There are laws written on our hearts--TRUTH, whether we want to accept it or not." -Dr. Phil Johnson
What was interesting about our discussion of this particular topic was hearing everyone's views and putting them in perspective. Now, while I overheard several conversations, I am going to focus mainly on the conversations that took place between Jared Mosley and myself. Jared and I stand in opposite corners--I don't believe in dating at all, while he loves the idea!
Jared told me that he is in love with the idea of being in love--a hopeless romantic, to quote the man himself. All the warm, fuzzy feelings attached to dating are a huge attraction to him. But that's because he has bought into a lie.
"First we must understand that all of the world's deceptions flow from the belief that love is primarily for the fulfillment and comfort of self." -Joshua Harris, from I Kissed Dating Goodbye
I understand the attraction--I really do. Knowing that someone feels that way about you gives you a sense of self-worth. Feeling that way about someone else is a heady thing. It's so easy to just go with the flow, and let our emotions run rampant. There is a problem with this line of thinking, however.
"But when we make our feelings the most important measure of love, we place ourselves at the center of importance... When we evaluate the quality of our love for someone else simply by our own emotional fulfillment, we are being selfish." -Joshua Harris, from I Kissed Dating Goodbye
In our discussion of dating's tendency toward selfish attitudes, we also touched on the topic of purity. Jared told me that he didn't see how a small amount of physical involvement could hurt anyone. I attempted to explain to him that purity is not a line in the sand; it's not about how close we can get to impurity before we are crossing the line. Purity is, instead, a direction. We raise our eyes to God's standard of perfection and resolve to pursue it.
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."
-Ephesians 5:3, emphasis added
We also wrestled with the pros and cons of romantic involvement in our younger years. I think that dating in high school is like going shopping for a new outfit without any money. Even if you find the perfect fit, what can you do about it? Neither person is ready or able to marry, so why seek the romantic involvement in the first place? And aside from the physical aspects, what are you seeking from a boyfriend/girlfriend that you can't find in a friendship?
I also believe that singleness is a gift. As a single, I am completely free to do whatever God asks of me. I have no attachments, and no distractions. I can devote all of my thoughts and actions to serving God. I can form deep and lasting friendships with members of both sexes, without worrying about who likes who and who's the cutest. Seriously. Singleness is not a condition I need to do something about; it's an opportunity I ought to do something with.
Oftentimes, when I tell people that I don't believe in dating, the first question out of their mouths is, "So you don't think you'll ever get married?" And I just laugh. I trust God's plan and God's timing. He might have someone in mind for me to marry... someday. But I'm not going to waste my time wishing that day was today. He might just as well intend for me to be single forever. And what's wrong with that, I ask you?
"I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions."
-1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (The Message)
February 28, 2009 11:45 p.m.
Tonight, instead of occupying the entire second-floor hallway after our visit to the cafe, Barnabas let us all into his room to hang out. It was fun; we talked about dating. Barnabas said that he likes the idea of group-dating, and he told us about his own experiences with dating, sharing a few stories.
After that, though, the conversation took a turn... toward personality profiling. I knew a little bit about Barnabas' personality profiling course from listening to Pat and Patti, so when we started discussing what kind of dog each person was, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
There are four dogs: Pit Bull, Golden Retriever, Beagle, and Dalmatian. Each one has different characteristics, different ways of communicating, different ways of dealing with people, etc. I know what I am--a Dalmatian, with a bit of Pit Bull--but it was fun to try and guess what everyone else was.
Pit Bulls are the go-getters, the confident ones, who are comfortable in their own skin and have no problem making their ideas and opinions known. They are often the first to step up and take charge. Ryan Langham is a good example of a Pit Bull. Golden Retrievers are more laid back. They love harmony, and do their best to get along with everyone. They like teamwork. Christian Sadler is a pureblood Golden Retriever. Beagles are the excitable ones; they love people and attention, and try to create a fun atmosphere. They are quick to act... but they don't always think first. Jared is a Beagle. Dalmatians are your detail-oriented bunch. They love information, and they're not particularly spontaneous. They tend to have high expectations... but are often disappointed when those expectations are not met. Sarah Allen is a perfect Dalmatian.
It was really neat discussion; kind of a conference-within-a-conference. It made me really eager to go to Rome with Barnabas! There was one more interesting thing, however--no one was able to profile Barnabas. I wonder what kind of dog he is? He seems to have many characteristics of all four. Something to ponder, I guess.
The whole idea behind personality profiling is to identify how best to relate to a certain person. You can't deal with a Dalmatian the same way you might deal with a Beagle, for instance! I think that's part of the reason that no one was able to profile Barnabas. He has become so good at adapting to an individual's personality! He deals with each personality type in a way that will most benefit them. It's not about other people understanding you, after all. It's about understanding other people.
"I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some."
-1 Corinthians 9:22b
All of these discussions had to do with relationships, which are a fascinating topic no matter where you are, Poland or elsewhere. These international conferences are designed to give us the tools we need to become effective leaders. You aren't a leader if nobody is following you... and no one will follow you if you are concerned only with yourself.
One thing I have taken to heart, being a Dalmatian with my high expectations, is that people are worth more than the things that they do. Everyone has their annoying habits, their idiosyncrasies, and their pet peeves. However, we can't make these the focus of our relationships, only dealing with people who don't rub us the wrong way. We are called to love even our enemies--nay; especially our enemies--with the love of Christ.
"But when we make our feelings the most important measure of love, we place ourselves at the center of importance... When we evaluate the quality of our love for someone else simply by our own emotional fulfillment, we are being selfish." -Joshua Harris, from I Kissed Dating Goodbye
In our discussion of dating's tendency toward selfish attitudes, we also touched on the topic of purity. Jared told me that he didn't see how a small amount of physical involvement could hurt anyone. I attempted to explain to him that purity is not a line in the sand; it's not about how close we can get to impurity before we are crossing the line. Purity is, instead, a direction. We raise our eyes to God's standard of perfection and resolve to pursue it.
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."
-Ephesians 5:3, emphasis added
We also wrestled with the pros and cons of romantic involvement in our younger years. I think that dating in high school is like going shopping for a new outfit without any money. Even if you find the perfect fit, what can you do about it? Neither person is ready or able to marry, so why seek the romantic involvement in the first place? And aside from the physical aspects, what are you seeking from a boyfriend/girlfriend that you can't find in a friendship?
I also believe that singleness is a gift. As a single, I am completely free to do whatever God asks of me. I have no attachments, and no distractions. I can devote all of my thoughts and actions to serving God. I can form deep and lasting friendships with members of both sexes, without worrying about who likes who and who's the cutest. Seriously. Singleness is not a condition I need to do something about; it's an opportunity I ought to do something with.
Oftentimes, when I tell people that I don't believe in dating, the first question out of their mouths is, "So you don't think you'll ever get married?" And I just laugh. I trust God's plan and God's timing. He might have someone in mind for me to marry... someday. But I'm not going to waste my time wishing that day was today. He might just as well intend for me to be single forever. And what's wrong with that, I ask you?
"I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions."
-1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (The Message)
February 28, 2009 11:45 p.m.
Tonight, instead of occupying the entire second-floor hallway after our visit to the cafe, Barnabas let us all into his room to hang out. It was fun; we talked about dating. Barnabas said that he likes the idea of group-dating, and he told us about his own experiences with dating, sharing a few stories.
After that, though, the conversation took a turn... toward personality profiling. I knew a little bit about Barnabas' personality profiling course from listening to Pat and Patti, so when we started discussing what kind of dog each person was, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
There are four dogs: Pit Bull, Golden Retriever, Beagle, and Dalmatian. Each one has different characteristics, different ways of communicating, different ways of dealing with people, etc. I know what I am--a Dalmatian, with a bit of Pit Bull--but it was fun to try and guess what everyone else was.
Pit Bulls are the go-getters, the confident ones, who are comfortable in their own skin and have no problem making their ideas and opinions known. They are often the first to step up and take charge. Ryan Langham is a good example of a Pit Bull. Golden Retrievers are more laid back. They love harmony, and do their best to get along with everyone. They like teamwork. Christian Sadler is a pureblood Golden Retriever. Beagles are the excitable ones; they love people and attention, and try to create a fun atmosphere. They are quick to act... but they don't always think first. Jared is a Beagle. Dalmatians are your detail-oriented bunch. They love information, and they're not particularly spontaneous. They tend to have high expectations... but are often disappointed when those expectations are not met. Sarah Allen is a perfect Dalmatian.
It was really neat discussion; kind of a conference-within-a-conference. It made me really eager to go to Rome with Barnabas! There was one more interesting thing, however--no one was able to profile Barnabas. I wonder what kind of dog he is? He seems to have many characteristics of all four. Something to ponder, I guess.
The whole idea behind personality profiling is to identify how best to relate to a certain person. You can't deal with a Dalmatian the same way you might deal with a Beagle, for instance! I think that's part of the reason that no one was able to profile Barnabas. He has become so good at adapting to an individual's personality! He deals with each personality type in a way that will most benefit them. It's not about other people understanding you, after all. It's about understanding other people.
"I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some."
-1 Corinthians 9:22b
All of these discussions had to do with relationships, which are a fascinating topic no matter where you are, Poland or elsewhere. These international conferences are designed to give us the tools we need to become effective leaders. You aren't a leader if nobody is following you... and no one will follow you if you are concerned only with yourself.
One thing I have taken to heart, being a Dalmatian with my high expectations, is that people are worth more than the things that they do. Everyone has their annoying habits, their idiosyncrasies, and their pet peeves. However, we can't make these the focus of our relationships, only dealing with people who don't rub us the wrong way. We are called to love even our enemies--nay; especially our enemies--with the love of Christ.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
St. Patrick's Breastplate
In honor of St. Patrick's Day, I have copied his famous "Breastplate" prayer. I always find this prayer empowering; it reminds me that I am on a spiritual battlefield, and that even when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I do not fight alone.
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness
Of the Creator of Creation.
I arise today
Through the strength of Christ’s birth with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,
Through the strength of his descent for the judgment of
Doom.
I arise today
Through the strength of the love of Cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In prayers of patriarchs,
In predictions of prophets,
In preaching of apostles,
In faith of confessors,
In innocence of holy virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.
I arise today
Through the strength of heaven:
Light of sun,
Radiance of moon,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of wind,
Depth of sea,
Stability of earth,
Firmness of rock.
I arise today
Through God’s strength to pilot me:
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s shield to protect me,
God’s host to save me
From snares of devils,
From temptations of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone and in multitude.
I summon today all these powers between me and those
evils,
Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my
body and soul
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom,
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man’s body and soul.
Christ to shield me today
Against poison and burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me an abundance of reward.
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ
when I arise,
Christ in the head of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of Creation.
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness
Of the Creator of Creation.
I arise today
Through the strength of Christ’s birth with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,
Through the strength of his descent for the judgment of
Doom.
I arise today
Through the strength of the love of Cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In prayers of patriarchs,
In predictions of prophets,
In preaching of apostles,
In faith of confessors,
In innocence of holy virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.
I arise today
Through the strength of heaven:
Light of sun,
Radiance of moon,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of wind,
Depth of sea,
Stability of earth,
Firmness of rock.
I arise today
Through God’s strength to pilot me:
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s shield to protect me,
God’s host to save me
From snares of devils,
From temptations of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone and in multitude.
I summon today all these powers between me and those
evils,
Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my
body and soul
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom,
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man’s body and soul.
Christ to shield me today
Against poison and burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me an abundance of reward.
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ
when I arise,
Christ in the head of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of Creation.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Week 8: Small Group Emails
(Below is an email I sent out to my small group on March 16, 2009)
Ok, everyone...
We missed two weeks of small group, one due to the crazy weather, and the other because we offered childcare during the showing of the movie 'Fireproof' at church last week. However, that does not mean that things haven't been moving forward--they certainly have! Last night, we really got to talking about our big project, involving the trailer park across the street from the church.
It was neat (to me as a leader) to watch different people getting excited about different aspects of this project--Matt and Nate are fired up about the benefit concert in April, ideas for a possible after-school program are growing in Ashley's mind, and Sam is just tired of talking; she wants to get something done! I think what started as a little idea is going to grow exponentially and bless a lot of people.
I found it interesting, then, and certainly not coincidental, that last night we discussed the topic of collaboration. One person can make a big difference, but there are some things that are too big to be tackled alone. Sometimes, even if going it alone is possible, it is good to have teammates who support and encourage and share the burden of the work.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
I learned about the power of just a few while I was in Poland, studying the Holocaust. It amazed me, how a few men got hold of an entire nation and committed such atrocities. Imagine, then, if a few of us could get hold of just our peer groups... just our homes... just our schools... we could change the world. Something to think about, at least. Our small group has incredible strength and potential, because we're not just working together. We're working together with God.
Love you guys.
Ok, everyone...
We missed two weeks of small group, one due to the crazy weather, and the other because we offered childcare during the showing of the movie 'Fireproof' at church last week. However, that does not mean that things haven't been moving forward--they certainly have! Last night, we really got to talking about our big project, involving the trailer park across the street from the church.
It was neat (to me as a leader) to watch different people getting excited about different aspects of this project--Matt and Nate are fired up about the benefit concert in April, ideas for a possible after-school program are growing in Ashley's mind, and Sam is just tired of talking; she wants to get something done! I think what started as a little idea is going to grow exponentially and bless a lot of people.
I found it interesting, then, and certainly not coincidental, that last night we discussed the topic of collaboration. One person can make a big difference, but there are some things that are too big to be tackled alone. Sometimes, even if going it alone is possible, it is good to have teammates who support and encourage and share the burden of the work.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
I learned about the power of just a few while I was in Poland, studying the Holocaust. It amazed me, how a few men got hold of an entire nation and committed such atrocities. Imagine, then, if a few of us could get hold of just our peer groups... just our homes... just our schools... we could change the world. Something to think about, at least. Our small group has incredible strength and potential, because we're not just working together. We're working together with God.
Love you guys.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Holocaust Studies: Saying Goodbye
(Excerpts from my journal are in italics and are dated.)
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in the face of it." -Smith Hempstone
Photograph: Gate to Battlements of Krakow's City Wall
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in the face of it." -Smith Hempstone
Photograph: Gate to Battlements of Krakow's City Wall
The last day of trips like these is always hard; you want the week to go on forever. You've formed new relationships, strengthened old ones, and learned so much about yourself, your friends, and the world around you. You want to stay in that environment; it's only natural. It's our responsibility to go back home, back to our everyday lives... but we never go back the same as when we left.
March 01, 2009 5:30 p.m.
This morning we went to church in Krakow with Magda, a young woman Barnabas met the day before we arrived. What a fantastic experience! We took the tram to get there; church was held on the second floor of an office building. The name of the church was Chrystus Krolem* (Christ the King); the service was done in two languages, Polish and English. Songs were sung in both languages, and the sermon was preached in Polish, with an English translator.
It was really wonderful to see how my brothers and sisters on this side of the world worship and fellowship. I immensely enjoyed my first experience in an international church... and I look forward to more opportunities like this one!
When the service was over, I had the chance to speak with a young woman who translated the announcements. She is originally from California, though she has also lived in Colorado, and is enjoying her missionary service in Poland. That was a fun conversation, albeit a brief one. Exciting!
After church, Joanna, Jaron, Jared, Christian Sadler, Tyler Leach and I went out to sample some Polish fare--borsch and pierogi--which was delicious. Borsch is very good, and does not taste the way you might expect. My raspberry pierogi were oh-so-good... even thinking about them makes my mouth water. Then we hit the streets again, walking and talking, picking up a few more souvenirs and enjoying the precious time in each other's company.
We returned to the hotel after a last round of Muranow Square, and we sat down for our last training session, where Barnabas said something I will never forget:
"God's plan is unfolding; history is not static; we have no guarantee of time. In light of this, we should live lives of purpose." -Dr. Phil Johnson
We drew some connections, in that session, between Nazism and Radical Islam. We live in interesting times. I'm sure there have been other times in history when the 'end of the world' seemed near, but right now the whole world seems to be on the brink. Are we living in the latter days? Could such things come to pass in my lifetime? It's interesting to think about.**
I've been a slacker, despite all my reading and research. I have not given careful thought to my ways, or shared what thoughts have crossed my mind. I need to love God with all my mental faculties--all my mind.
This is something I've been very convicted of, lately. I know that I have a gift for writing, and I love to read and research, and journal about my findings. The trouble is that I don't share these things with other people; I hate to speak in front of a group, and I often have trouble sharing even with those who are close to me. I am always afraid that I won't express myself clearly, that I will not have enough information if someone questions me, or that someone will find an arguable point in what I have to say.
But all of those things are lies, directly from the mouth of Satan. He does not want me to write, or speak, or in any way share what I have learned with other people. He fears what may happen if I do. I have to remember that they are lies, reject them, and live by the Truth. I cannot be shackled by the fear of what others may think or say; I have no control over that. I do have control, however, over what I think and what I say.
That's part of the reason I started this blog. It's one small step outside my comfort zone... and who know where that might lead? The entire time I was in Poland, I could not wait to get my hands on a computer, so I could blog about all I was experiencing. There are things that people ought not to forget, and things they need to know, and I can tell them, because I've been there.
And with these desires and this gift comes another responsibility: to take full advantage of them. In the Parable of the Talents***, the servant who did nothing with what he was given was punished, and even what he had was taken from him; the servants who worked and multiplied what they'd been given were rewarded with even more.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as your reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
-Colossians 3:23-24
I need to take my desire to learn and use it to learn as much as I can; then I need to turn and teach it to others. I need to learn with all my heart, write with all my heart, teach with all my heart. That's what I am called to do right now.
March 04, 2009 4:00 a.m.
I'm home. I write that with a sigh. After I wrote my last journal entry in Poland, everyone clattered down the stairs for our last supper together. Barnabas asked me to pray over the meal, which I did, but I could not seem to find adequate words. In the end, I asked God to make each one of us into the people he created us to be.
When supper was over, I headed for the cafe with Joanna, Jaron, Jared and Christian Sadler, walking arm and arm through the streets of Krakow. We stopped to enjoy the crescent moon--it really was beautiful. When we arrived, we enjoyed our ice cream and the incomparable hot chocolate, but mostly we enjoyed each other's company.
Derek Patrick was entertaining everyone by popping the buttons on Chris Barrans' shirt, which Chris had lent him for church, and ended up letting him keep. I smile and shake my head. We took lots of pictures, and when we went back to the hotel for the evening, we had a forty-five-minute hugging session in the hallway before going to bed. Joanna, Chris and I all agreed to get up at four in the morning to say goodbye to our friends from Florida, who had to catch a very early flight to Munich, Germany.
Jaron had bought Joanna a yellow rose in Muranow Square, and she said her goodbye to Poland very poetically by sprinkling some of the petals out of the hotel window around midnight... confusing the poor man who was sitting in his car across the street.
I'll never forget Ryan Langham's very dramatic goodbye to Joanna--upon realizing he'd forgotten to hug her goodbye, he came tearing off the bus and back into the lobby, picking her up and swinging her around, just like something from a movie. I wish I'd had my camera.
We dropped back into bed for another hour or so of sleep, getting up around seven to have breakfast. Then we all piled into the van with Peter, the van driver, whom Patti called "cute." We arrived at the airport, checked our bags... and then it was time to say goodbye to Barnabas.
I hate walking away from Barnabas, or watching him walk away. But I am always struck by how ordinary he looks--jeans and sneakers and a black coat, hands in his pockets, small smile on his face--when he has taught me such extraordinary things. When he hugged me goodbye, he told me that he was proud of me, and as he let go, Patti said, "This one is our great hope; she gets it."
Such words always make me feel strange. What have I done, that these people place their hope in me? Why do they have such great expectations of me? Would they still, if they knew my private struggles and my hypocrisy? I do not feel worthy of that expectation, or that hope. I felt a great weight of responsibility descend on me as those words were spoken. I hope to be able to meet and exceed those expectations... and to give them a reason for their confidence. These things were heavy on my heart as we headed home.
I wonder how many people have ever felt worthy of their calling? I know my every fault and weakness, things that others may never see. It makes me wonder if I really have what it takes to do what I have been called to do. I know that God never gives me a task without giving me the ability to complete it; I do not doubt my ability, only my will. Will I be strong enough to choose the will of God, always, for the rest of my life? I pray for that strength.
My first day back was totally uneventful, and somewhat disappointing. I went to the grocery store, watched television, and told my family stories of Poland during the commercials; Mom played Guild Wars all day. I could not bring myself to speak of Auschwitz in that setting. Auschwitz demands your full attention. I was so frustrated with my family. Were they really so much more interested in the television show that they could only listen during the commercials? Was an online game really more important?
I have changed so much, and no one is aware.
"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back?" -Frodo, from The Return of the King
This is my conclusion: My life is permanently changed. I cannot go back to the way things were; after what I have seen, it is not possible. Somehow, whether others understand it or not, whether they accept it or not, whether they like it or not, I must now live differently. It is frightening, but there is no other option. I must say goodbye to the way I used to be.
"Truth changes people." -Dr. Phil Johnson
*Chrystus Krolem http://www.chk.org.pl/english/indexen.html#
**A Barnabas Article http://www.globalnext.org/files/Article%201-Temples,%20Arks%20and%20Heifers.pdf
***Matthew 25:14-30
March 01, 2009 5:30 p.m.
This morning we went to church in Krakow with Magda, a young woman Barnabas met the day before we arrived. What a fantastic experience! We took the tram to get there; church was held on the second floor of an office building. The name of the church was Chrystus Krolem* (Christ the King); the service was done in two languages, Polish and English. Songs were sung in both languages, and the sermon was preached in Polish, with an English translator.
It was really wonderful to see how my brothers and sisters on this side of the world worship and fellowship. I immensely enjoyed my first experience in an international church... and I look forward to more opportunities like this one!
When the service was over, I had the chance to speak with a young woman who translated the announcements. She is originally from California, though she has also lived in Colorado, and is enjoying her missionary service in Poland. That was a fun conversation, albeit a brief one. Exciting!
After church, Joanna, Jaron, Jared, Christian Sadler, Tyler Leach and I went out to sample some Polish fare--borsch and pierogi--which was delicious. Borsch is very good, and does not taste the way you might expect. My raspberry pierogi were oh-so-good... even thinking about them makes my mouth water. Then we hit the streets again, walking and talking, picking up a few more souvenirs and enjoying the precious time in each other's company.
We returned to the hotel after a last round of Muranow Square, and we sat down for our last training session, where Barnabas said something I will never forget:
"God's plan is unfolding; history is not static; we have no guarantee of time. In light of this, we should live lives of purpose." -Dr. Phil Johnson
We drew some connections, in that session, between Nazism and Radical Islam. We live in interesting times. I'm sure there have been other times in history when the 'end of the world' seemed near, but right now the whole world seems to be on the brink. Are we living in the latter days? Could such things come to pass in my lifetime? It's interesting to think about.**
I've been a slacker, despite all my reading and research. I have not given careful thought to my ways, or shared what thoughts have crossed my mind. I need to love God with all my mental faculties--all my mind.
This is something I've been very convicted of, lately. I know that I have a gift for writing, and I love to read and research, and journal about my findings. The trouble is that I don't share these things with other people; I hate to speak in front of a group, and I often have trouble sharing even with those who are close to me. I am always afraid that I won't express myself clearly, that I will not have enough information if someone questions me, or that someone will find an arguable point in what I have to say.
But all of those things are lies, directly from the mouth of Satan. He does not want me to write, or speak, or in any way share what I have learned with other people. He fears what may happen if I do. I have to remember that they are lies, reject them, and live by the Truth. I cannot be shackled by the fear of what others may think or say; I have no control over that. I do have control, however, over what I think and what I say.
That's part of the reason I started this blog. It's one small step outside my comfort zone... and who know where that might lead? The entire time I was in Poland, I could not wait to get my hands on a computer, so I could blog about all I was experiencing. There are things that people ought not to forget, and things they need to know, and I can tell them, because I've been there.
And with these desires and this gift comes another responsibility: to take full advantage of them. In the Parable of the Talents***, the servant who did nothing with what he was given was punished, and even what he had was taken from him; the servants who worked and multiplied what they'd been given were rewarded with even more.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as your reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
-Colossians 3:23-24
I need to take my desire to learn and use it to learn as much as I can; then I need to turn and teach it to others. I need to learn with all my heart, write with all my heart, teach with all my heart. That's what I am called to do right now.
March 04, 2009 4:00 a.m.
I'm home. I write that with a sigh. After I wrote my last journal entry in Poland, everyone clattered down the stairs for our last supper together. Barnabas asked me to pray over the meal, which I did, but I could not seem to find adequate words. In the end, I asked God to make each one of us into the people he created us to be.
When supper was over, I headed for the cafe with Joanna, Jaron, Jared and Christian Sadler, walking arm and arm through the streets of Krakow. We stopped to enjoy the crescent moon--it really was beautiful. When we arrived, we enjoyed our ice cream and the incomparable hot chocolate, but mostly we enjoyed each other's company.
Derek Patrick was entertaining everyone by popping the buttons on Chris Barrans' shirt, which Chris had lent him for church, and ended up letting him keep. I smile and shake my head. We took lots of pictures, and when we went back to the hotel for the evening, we had a forty-five-minute hugging session in the hallway before going to bed. Joanna, Chris and I all agreed to get up at four in the morning to say goodbye to our friends from Florida, who had to catch a very early flight to Munich, Germany.
Jaron had bought Joanna a yellow rose in Muranow Square, and she said her goodbye to Poland very poetically by sprinkling some of the petals out of the hotel window around midnight... confusing the poor man who was sitting in his car across the street.
I'll never forget Ryan Langham's very dramatic goodbye to Joanna--upon realizing he'd forgotten to hug her goodbye, he came tearing off the bus and back into the lobby, picking her up and swinging her around, just like something from a movie. I wish I'd had my camera.
We dropped back into bed for another hour or so of sleep, getting up around seven to have breakfast. Then we all piled into the van with Peter, the van driver, whom Patti called "cute." We arrived at the airport, checked our bags... and then it was time to say goodbye to Barnabas.
I hate walking away from Barnabas, or watching him walk away. But I am always struck by how ordinary he looks--jeans and sneakers and a black coat, hands in his pockets, small smile on his face--when he has taught me such extraordinary things. When he hugged me goodbye, he told me that he was proud of me, and as he let go, Patti said, "This one is our great hope; she gets it."
Such words always make me feel strange. What have I done, that these people place their hope in me? Why do they have such great expectations of me? Would they still, if they knew my private struggles and my hypocrisy? I do not feel worthy of that expectation, or that hope. I felt a great weight of responsibility descend on me as those words were spoken. I hope to be able to meet and exceed those expectations... and to give them a reason for their confidence. These things were heavy on my heart as we headed home.
I wonder how many people have ever felt worthy of their calling? I know my every fault and weakness, things that others may never see. It makes me wonder if I really have what it takes to do what I have been called to do. I know that God never gives me a task without giving me the ability to complete it; I do not doubt my ability, only my will. Will I be strong enough to choose the will of God, always, for the rest of my life? I pray for that strength.
My first day back was totally uneventful, and somewhat disappointing. I went to the grocery store, watched television, and told my family stories of Poland during the commercials; Mom played Guild Wars all day. I could not bring myself to speak of Auschwitz in that setting. Auschwitz demands your full attention. I was so frustrated with my family. Were they really so much more interested in the television show that they could only listen during the commercials? Was an online game really more important?
I have changed so much, and no one is aware.
"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back?" -Frodo, from The Return of the King
This is my conclusion: My life is permanently changed. I cannot go back to the way things were; after what I have seen, it is not possible. Somehow, whether others understand it or not, whether they accept it or not, whether they like it or not, I must now live differently. It is frightening, but there is no other option. I must say goodbye to the way I used to be.
"Truth changes people." -Dr. Phil Johnson
*Chrystus Krolem http://www.chk.org.pl/english/indexen.html#
**A Barnabas Article http://www.globalnext.org/files/Article%201-Temples,%20Arks%20and%20Heifers.pdf
***Matthew 25:14-30
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Holocaust Studies: Salt and Light
(Excerpts from my journal are in italics and are dated.)
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in the face of it." -Smith Hempstone
February 28, 2009 6:00 p.m.
Today was such a fun and lighthearted day, compared to the bleakness and gravity of yesterday. We got up bright and early this morning to visit Wieliczka Salt Mine, where we were invited to lick the walls--yes, I said LICK--to taste the salt in the rock. We all did it, of course, even Jaron. It was kind of fun, kind of weird, and kind of gross, but that didn't occur to us until afterward...
Three storeys underground, we viewed beautiful sculptures of salt, including one of St. Kinga. According to legend, when a Polish king sent his envoys to escort princess Kinga to Poland to become his wife, Kinga's father wanted to show royal generosity by giving gold and silver from his treasury to the Poles. Kinga asked him to give salt instead, since Poles did have gold and silver but they did not have rare and valuable salt. The king of Hungary agreed to let Kinga to take as much Hungarian salt as she wanted, but Kinga had a premonition, and before she left with the Polish envoys, she dropped her engagement ring into one of Hungary's salt mines.
After Kinga's wedding in Krakow, she went on a trip to the nearby town of Wieliczka, where she ordered the people there to dig a well. The people who dug the well were forced to stop when they encountered a hard stone. Kinga then ordered them to lift up the chunk of the stone, which turned out to be rock salt. When the piece of salt was broken apart, Kinga's engagement ring was found inside! In the place where Kinga asked to dig the well, huge deposits of pure salt were found. Therefore she became the patron saint of salt miners.
We also saw a cathedral made entirely of salt: stairs, floor, friezes on the walls--even the chandeliers! It was weird... but very beautiful. On our way out of the mine, we stopped briefly near an underground lake even saltier than the Dead Sea; we dropped coins into it, and they took an unusually long time to sink.
Salt is a seasoning and a preservative--once called 'white gold' in Europe because of it's rarity and value. It adds savor to bland foods and complements the flavor of most dishes, and it keeps things from going bad. In the salt mine, all the support beams are made of wood, not iron. Iron will, over time, rust and become brittle. Wood, on the other hand, is porous, and over time it absorbs the salt from the air around it and begins to petrify, becoming as strong as stone. In the same way, we are to influence and infuse those around us, helping them to grow in strength and grace.
Something Patti said really struck a chord in me: "You know, all of this would be nothing without light." It was true; without light, the mine would have been just a dark hole. The play of light on the sparkling salt, and the chandeliers made of salt, sent me back in time a year to remember the way that light defines Waterford Crystal... ah, memories. Back to the present... for a souvenir, I purchased a votive holder made of salt, to remind me of the salt and light that I am called to be.
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
-Matthew 5:13-16
If I cease to live life to the full and refuse to shine in or season this world, I become useless. God has a specific purpose for my life, and it is rebellious and sinful to live as though this life were my own. I was bought at a price; I will not waste my life. God is not fond of slackers.
"The complacency of fools will destroy them."
-Proverbs 1:32b
"The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection." -C. S. Lewis
I must not become comfortable with 'the way things are' or satisfied with where I am right now, as far as what I am doing to serve God. There is no such thing as 'good enough.' I must be always improving, because God's standard is perfection, and I do not yet measure up.
"The test of observance to Christ's teachings is our consciousness of our failure to attain an ideal perfection. The degree to which we draw near this perfection cannot be seen; all we can see is the extent of our deviation." -Leo Tolstoy
"The highest perfection consists not in interior favors or in great rapture, but in the bringing of our wills so closely into conformity with the will of God that as soon as we realize that He wills anything, we desire it ourselves with all our might." -St. Teresa of Avila
"When better is possible, then good is not enough." -From Becoming a Person of Influence
Why did I have to come all the way to Poland to fully realize how much all of this matters, that it is true, and that truth ought to define me more than my emotions and passions? Feelings change--truth does not. Jesus is the Truth*, and He must be my only driving force. Love for Him must be my sole motivation; He alone can keep me going through any and every difficulty.
I was disturbed during our training session this evening, when Barnabas played the video from http://www.loveisthenewhate.com and asked us for our thoughts. I was extremely convicted that Biblical illiteracy is crippling our young Christians and making them easy to deceive. But what can I do about it? Knowing the truth is one thing; doing something about it is another thing entirely. I cannot in good conscience just stand by and allow things to happen; let me rather be a person who makes things happen. This will require a change in my thinking, and a definite change in my life.
For starters, I have to pray. Without God, I can do nothing. With Him, there's nothing I can't do.
"The word of the LORD came to me, saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant." "Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them." "They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD."
-Jeremiah 1:4-10; 17 & 19
"Therefore this is what the LORD says: "If you repent, I will restore you, that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them. I will make you a wall to this people, a fortified wall of bronze; they will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you to rescue and save you," declares the LORD."
-Jeremiah 15:19-20
Father God,
You are my silence in the middle of this noise; my peace in the middle of this chaos.** I praise you for your relentless pursuit of me, although I do not understand it. Even when I turn my back on you, you wait patiently for me to realize my folly and fall back into your open arms. But I know I do not need your arms of comfort; you are rather bracing me for difficulties still to come.
Forgive my disobedience and my flippancy; there never was anything more serious than the life you require of me. Help me not to dwell on the things I've done wrong, but to learn from them and start to live again in a way that is purposeful and pleasing to you. Let me play the hypocrite no longer and embrace my destiny, becoming the person you have created me to be.
Barnabas says I have grown in grace--have I really? Help me to use that for your sake. If I've grown, then good. If not, then help me to be as effective as possible where I am right now, and help me continue to move forward. Let me begin now, instead of procrastinating. 'Do Hard Things' is a 'right now' mentality. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Help me to place greater value on my life and my freedom while they last.
In Christ's Name, Amen.
*John 14:6
**Sanctus Real "Whatever You're Doing" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06AgY5Xoavw
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in the face of it." -Smith Hempstone
Photograph: Salt Chandelier in Wieliczka Salt Mine (Courtesy of Sarah Allen)
February 28, 2009 6:00 p.m.
Today was such a fun and lighthearted day, compared to the bleakness and gravity of yesterday. We got up bright and early this morning to visit Wieliczka Salt Mine, where we were invited to lick the walls--yes, I said LICK--to taste the salt in the rock. We all did it, of course, even Jaron. It was kind of fun, kind of weird, and kind of gross, but that didn't occur to us until afterward...
Three storeys underground, we viewed beautiful sculptures of salt, including one of St. Kinga. According to legend, when a Polish king sent his envoys to escort princess Kinga to Poland to become his wife, Kinga's father wanted to show royal generosity by giving gold and silver from his treasury to the Poles. Kinga asked him to give salt instead, since Poles did have gold and silver but they did not have rare and valuable salt. The king of Hungary agreed to let Kinga to take as much Hungarian salt as she wanted, but Kinga had a premonition, and before she left with the Polish envoys, she dropped her engagement ring into one of Hungary's salt mines.
After Kinga's wedding in Krakow, she went on a trip to the nearby town of Wieliczka, where she ordered the people there to dig a well. The people who dug the well were forced to stop when they encountered a hard stone. Kinga then ordered them to lift up the chunk of the stone, which turned out to be rock salt. When the piece of salt was broken apart, Kinga's engagement ring was found inside! In the place where Kinga asked to dig the well, huge deposits of pure salt were found. Therefore she became the patron saint of salt miners.
We also saw a cathedral made entirely of salt: stairs, floor, friezes on the walls--even the chandeliers! It was weird... but very beautiful. On our way out of the mine, we stopped briefly near an underground lake even saltier than the Dead Sea; we dropped coins into it, and they took an unusually long time to sink.
Salt is a seasoning and a preservative--once called 'white gold' in Europe because of it's rarity and value. It adds savor to bland foods and complements the flavor of most dishes, and it keeps things from going bad. In the salt mine, all the support beams are made of wood, not iron. Iron will, over time, rust and become brittle. Wood, on the other hand, is porous, and over time it absorbs the salt from the air around it and begins to petrify, becoming as strong as stone. In the same way, we are to influence and infuse those around us, helping them to grow in strength and grace.
Something Patti said really struck a chord in me: "You know, all of this would be nothing without light." It was true; without light, the mine would have been just a dark hole. The play of light on the sparkling salt, and the chandeliers made of salt, sent me back in time a year to remember the way that light defines Waterford Crystal... ah, memories. Back to the present... for a souvenir, I purchased a votive holder made of salt, to remind me of the salt and light that I am called to be.
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
-Matthew 5:13-16
If I cease to live life to the full and refuse to shine in or season this world, I become useless. God has a specific purpose for my life, and it is rebellious and sinful to live as though this life were my own. I was bought at a price; I will not waste my life. God is not fond of slackers.
"The complacency of fools will destroy them."
-Proverbs 1:32b
"The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection." -C. S. Lewis
I must not become comfortable with 'the way things are' or satisfied with where I am right now, as far as what I am doing to serve God. There is no such thing as 'good enough.' I must be always improving, because God's standard is perfection, and I do not yet measure up.
"The test of observance to Christ's teachings is our consciousness of our failure to attain an ideal perfection. The degree to which we draw near this perfection cannot be seen; all we can see is the extent of our deviation." -Leo Tolstoy
"The highest perfection consists not in interior favors or in great rapture, but in the bringing of our wills so closely into conformity with the will of God that as soon as we realize that He wills anything, we desire it ourselves with all our might." -St. Teresa of Avila
"When better is possible, then good is not enough." -From Becoming a Person of Influence
Why did I have to come all the way to Poland to fully realize how much all of this matters, that it is true, and that truth ought to define me more than my emotions and passions? Feelings change--truth does not. Jesus is the Truth*, and He must be my only driving force. Love for Him must be my sole motivation; He alone can keep me going through any and every difficulty.
I was disturbed during our training session this evening, when Barnabas played the video from http://www.loveisthenewhate.com and asked us for our thoughts. I was extremely convicted that Biblical illiteracy is crippling our young Christians and making them easy to deceive. But what can I do about it? Knowing the truth is one thing; doing something about it is another thing entirely. I cannot in good conscience just stand by and allow things to happen; let me rather be a person who makes things happen. This will require a change in my thinking, and a definite change in my life.
For starters, I have to pray. Without God, I can do nothing. With Him, there's nothing I can't do.
"The word of the LORD came to me, saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant." "Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them." "They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD."
-Jeremiah 1:4-10; 17 & 19
"Therefore this is what the LORD says: "If you repent, I will restore you, that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them. I will make you a wall to this people, a fortified wall of bronze; they will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you to rescue and save you," declares the LORD."
-Jeremiah 15:19-20
Father God,
You are my silence in the middle of this noise; my peace in the middle of this chaos.** I praise you for your relentless pursuit of me, although I do not understand it. Even when I turn my back on you, you wait patiently for me to realize my folly and fall back into your open arms. But I know I do not need your arms of comfort; you are rather bracing me for difficulties still to come.
Forgive my disobedience and my flippancy; there never was anything more serious than the life you require of me. Help me not to dwell on the things I've done wrong, but to learn from them and start to live again in a way that is purposeful and pleasing to you. Let me play the hypocrite no longer and embrace my destiny, becoming the person you have created me to be.
Barnabas says I have grown in grace--have I really? Help me to use that for your sake. If I've grown, then good. If not, then help me to be as effective as possible where I am right now, and help me continue to move forward. Let me begin now, instead of procrastinating. 'Do Hard Things' is a 'right now' mentality. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Help me to place greater value on my life and my freedom while they last.
In Christ's Name, Amen.
*John 14:6
**Sanctus Real "Whatever You're Doing" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06AgY5Xoavw
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Holocaust Studies: Auschwitz
(Excerpts from my journal are in italics and are dated.)
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in the face of it." -Smith Hempstone
February 26th, 2009 10:30 p.m.
I know where I need to be right now and what I ought to be doing--on my knees, praying. Tomorrow we visit Auschwitz, and I am prepared for brokenness and tears. Who knows what else may await me there?
Auschwitz: The Home of Evil. 1,500,000 people were murdered there, 1,100,000 of them Jews. It is nearly impossible to imagine that many people; roughly the population of the Piedmont Triad, the area in which I live.* I'm not sure what I was expecting when I went to Auschwitz--certainly not what I saw. I know it is something I will never forget; it is something that has permanently altered the way I view the world. I now know what brutality mankind is capable of... but I also know that there is hope even in the most desperate of circumstances--light, even in the darkest of places.
February 27th, 2009 6:05 p.m.
Today we visited Auschwitz and Auschwitz-Birkenau. The words do not come easy. I was prepared to be torn apart, prepared to cry. I was not prepared for emotionless observation--why did I feel nothing? It seems as though there should have been horror, shock and surprise at the cruelty man is capable of, but there was only voiceless solemnity as I took in every detail.
Auschwitz cannot be described with mere numbers--they are totally inadequate. In the portion of the camp that has been converted to a museum, there are display cases with piles of eyeglasses, prayer shawls, brushes and combs, suitcases and shoes taken from prisoners of the camp. There are mountains of these items. It is hard to imagine that each item once belonged to a living, breathing person; that the names written on those suitcases once had faces. In one room, a display case occupying an entire wall is full of human hair, bales of which the Nazis shipped to Germany to be used in the production of felt and haircloth. We were told how the gold teeth and fillings of murdered prisoners were extracted from the corpses and melted down. Human beings--shorn like sheep, and mined for gold. Insanity.
Block 11 of Auschwitz Camp was a prison within a prison. It was here that, for any small or even imagined infraction, a prisoner could be hung from the ceiling, his arms tied behind his back (to dislocate the shoulders), left in a cell to starve to death, crammed into a poorly ventilated cell with as many others as would fit and left to suffocate, or forced to crawl into a cell barely three feet by three feet with three other people and left to stand in the pitch-blackness until death by exhaustion, starvation, or suffocation overtook them. Above these cells, which were in the basement of Block 11, were the offices and living quarters of Nazi SS officers and guards. How does a person sleep at night, knowing that such atrocities are being committed just beneath their feet?
At Auschwitz-Birkenau, the larger camp, train tracks ran right under the guardhouse, and ended at the back of the camp. It would literally have been a train to nowhere--prisoners would disembark, under the illusion that they had come to work or even to be resettled, only to be separated into two lines. One line was sent immediately to the gas chambers--small children, pregnant women, the elderly, the handicapped, and anyone deemed unfit for work. The other line was subjected to eleven or more hours of hard labor every day, humiliated--treated as Untermensch (subhuman), without adequate sleep, food, or clothing, until they could work no longer. Then they were either gassed or shot.
I WILL NEVER AGAIN COMPLAIN ABOUT STANDING IN LINE.
We were shown how prisoners in Auschwitz-Birkenau were housed--in buildings that more closely resembled stables than barracks. The horses stabled at the farm where I work have better living conditions. The barracks walls were lined with three-tiered bunks; twelve prisoners could fit on one bunk, because they were so emaciated. There were no toilet or washing facilities in the barracks; there was a separate building for that, where a person would have roughly eleven seconds to wash and relieve himself, twice a day. For breakfast, prisoners were given one cup of coffee. For lunch, a thin soup consisting mainly of water, with no meat. For supper, a piece of bread no bigger than a man's hand. Inconceivable.
Now, after what I have seen, I am tormented by an unanswerable "Why?" and possessed of a useless rage. Yes, anger smolders in the depths of my soul--not against the Nazis; they were only the instruments of a greater evil, which seeks the destruction of all mankind. What good is my anger? There is no channel for it. It is as useless as I am. What can I do? Speak? Who wants to hear about such things? Educate? What could they do? Paint, draw, write [evoke emotion]? Why? What good is any of it?
History constantly repeats itself.
"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun."
-Ecclesiastes 1:9
The same mistakes are made, time and again, and the whole world just stands by and watches, waiting for someone else to do something. God forbid we should do something ourselves! It's not our responsibility, for goodness' sake! No, we leave the decision to act--or not--in the hands of those in authority. Why do we leave our fate and the fate of others in the hands of a few men, who in truth are just as weak as the rest of us? Why not place our trust in a deeper truth, a higher authority--the Deepest and Highest and Only--and act on His authority, by His might?
When people experience something life-changing, their first impulse is to flee from it or forget about it. So they crack a joke, plug in to their iPod, or turn on the television (in my case, pick up a book)--anything to escape the difficult task of introspective thought, self-examination, and mental/spiritual transformation. However, instead of trying to escape, they need to devote time and diligence to processing what has just affected them. Only then will they be changed and grown.
That is the difference between the casual 'Christian' and the true follower of Christ--one is possessed of a holy discontent and is constantly being made more perfect by the renewal of their mind, and the other is content to live with a misbegotten sense of self-righteousness, never even considering the fact that the place where you begin a journey is not the place where it ought to end. They are stagant in their thinking; anything that is inactive or unused for very long begins to rot.
I don't want my experience of Auschwitz to be an event--a one-time occurrence that does nothing to reshape my view of the world and my actions toward it.
Looking back, I think the reason that God allowed me to view Auschwitz without emotion was so that I could not dismiss my personal responsibility. Allow me to explain. When a person sees something terrible, and they feel terrible, they go away from it saying, "That's so terrible," and feel as though they've done their duty. They've felt sorry, and that's enough for them. I did not feel terrible; I did not feel sorry. Therefore, I could not confuse emotion with action. God wants me to do something with what I have learned--not just feel sorry. Sorry is not enough. Sorry is never enough.
When I passed through the main gate of Auschwitz Camp, I walked beneath the lie, "Work Makes You Free" [translation from original German, Arbeit Macht Frei], with the understanding that I would be leaving freely. There was no such escape for the Jews, Gypsies, Russians and Poles who passed through those same gates. They are dead and gone now; even those who survived the camp will soon be little more than dust and a memory. As I remember them, I have to consider others around the world, who are disappearing even as I write. Darfur springs immediately to mind.
"When the Nazis came for the communists, I remained silent; I was not a communist. When they locked up the social democrats, I remained silent; I was not a social democrat. When they came for the trade unionists, I did not speak out; I was not a trade unionist. When they came for the Jews, I remained silent; I was not a Jew. When they came for me, there was no one left to speak out." -Martin Niemoller
Who will speak up for them?
Will there come a day when, in America, it is illegal to be a Christian? Christians in other countries pray for us, the American Christians, because we have grown up believing that it is normal to be a Christian without persecution. What will we do when that day comes? Will we still be brave enough to live and die well? Most certainly, it will be a separation of the wheat from the tares.** I wonder if I will be strong enough. I wonder if those I love and admire will be strong enough.
Walking into the gas chamber sent chills down my spine; unlike thousands of others who went through that door, I was allowed to walk out alive. Should I not then be grateful for every breath of clean air, every moment of freedom, every shower, meal, and article of clothing? How dare I waste one precious moment of this freedom, when I know it will not last!?
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."
-Ephesians 5:16
Every breath of laughter grated on my ears today. I am frustrated and upset, but I don't know what to do about it. There is nowhere for all my passion to go; I have no inspiration, no ideas, nothing to work with.
When we returned to the hotel, the whole group did an art therapy project. I painted in color; I thought I wanted black, but I was wrong. I painted a blazing heart, pouring out fire and light into the darkness all around it. It was hopeful, and fierce. I want my passion to spill over like that, but where do I begin? I feel like a caged lion, muzzled and pacing, enraged by an inability to act.
February 28th, 2009 12:00 a.m.
"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."
-Proverbs 3:27
There is a reason I am being trained up this way; challenged and grown by these experiences. God is uniquely preparing me for something. It is interesting to me, how God often reveals my own faults by showing me the same faults in other people. (I am thinking of Jared.) The directionless, carefree way that he lives, knowing he ought to do something, but never actually doing it, is exactly what I have been doing.
"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
-James 4:17
But it is worse for me, because I know better. I know what I am capable of--what I am called to do--but I have chosen inaction.
"That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."
-Luke 12:47-49
It is wrong to pretend to be more than you are; it is just as wrong to pretend to be less than you are. I am meant to lead; I am meant to be a positive influence, to impact the world. It would be a slap in God's face not to accept that calling. God did not accept excuses from Moses or Jeremiah***; why should He accept them from me?
Beneath every facade of mine, every bit of true pride and false humility, every bit of fear--there is a heart on fire for God. And trying to hide that light is torture. The refusal to be the person God means me to be--the refusal to pray, study, and daily renew my mind--is the rejection of a precious gift and a great charge.
"Put aside the Ranger. Become who you were born to be." -Elrond to Aragon, from The Return of the King
I cannot afford to go my own way; too much is at stake. I must live up to my destiny and take my place in God's kingdom. It takes great courage to die well; it takes even greater courage, I think, to live well. From the beginning of my walk with God, I prayed to be given a difficult task; can I honestly say that I am surprised by His answer? Should I now shrink from the ways He is growing me? He is educating me; therefore, I should endeavor to learn, to prepare as much as possible for the life He has set before me.
I am privileged to learn from Barnabas, and from the other great influences in my life. Will I carry on the great legacy, and in my turn teach others? Will I choose the narrow way, which only a few find? I know my strength is small, but God is great, and He lives in me.
"For nothing is impossible with God."
-Luke 1:37
"With the Lord by our side, there is nothing we cannot do. Separated from Him, we will collapse almost immediately. With so good a friend and Captain ever present, Himself the first to suffer, everything can be borne. He helps. He strengthens. He never fails. He is a true friend." -St. Teresa of Avila
I cannot fathom what God is trying to make of me... but the real question is whether or not I will allow him to take complete control of me, and change me forever.
*Population of Piedmont Triad, NC
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piedmont_Triad
**Matthew 13:24-31
***Exodus 4:10-12; Jeremiah 1:6-8 & 17
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in the face of it." -Smith Hempstone
Photograph: Antisemitic Graffiti (Taken During Return Trip From Auschwitz)
February 26th, 2009 10:30 p.m.
I know where I need to be right now and what I ought to be doing--on my knees, praying. Tomorrow we visit Auschwitz, and I am prepared for brokenness and tears. Who knows what else may await me there?
Auschwitz: The Home of Evil. 1,500,000 people were murdered there, 1,100,000 of them Jews. It is nearly impossible to imagine that many people; roughly the population of the Piedmont Triad, the area in which I live.* I'm not sure what I was expecting when I went to Auschwitz--certainly not what I saw. I know it is something I will never forget; it is something that has permanently altered the way I view the world. I now know what brutality mankind is capable of... but I also know that there is hope even in the most desperate of circumstances--light, even in the darkest of places.
February 27th, 2009 6:05 p.m.
Today we visited Auschwitz and Auschwitz-Birkenau. The words do not come easy. I was prepared to be torn apart, prepared to cry. I was not prepared for emotionless observation--why did I feel nothing? It seems as though there should have been horror, shock and surprise at the cruelty man is capable of, but there was only voiceless solemnity as I took in every detail.
Auschwitz cannot be described with mere numbers--they are totally inadequate. In the portion of the camp that has been converted to a museum, there are display cases with piles of eyeglasses, prayer shawls, brushes and combs, suitcases and shoes taken from prisoners of the camp. There are mountains of these items. It is hard to imagine that each item once belonged to a living, breathing person; that the names written on those suitcases once had faces. In one room, a display case occupying an entire wall is full of human hair, bales of which the Nazis shipped to Germany to be used in the production of felt and haircloth. We were told how the gold teeth and fillings of murdered prisoners were extracted from the corpses and melted down. Human beings--shorn like sheep, and mined for gold. Insanity.
Block 11 of Auschwitz Camp was a prison within a prison. It was here that, for any small or even imagined infraction, a prisoner could be hung from the ceiling, his arms tied behind his back (to dislocate the shoulders), left in a cell to starve to death, crammed into a poorly ventilated cell with as many others as would fit and left to suffocate, or forced to crawl into a cell barely three feet by three feet with three other people and left to stand in the pitch-blackness until death by exhaustion, starvation, or suffocation overtook them. Above these cells, which were in the basement of Block 11, were the offices and living quarters of Nazi SS officers and guards. How does a person sleep at night, knowing that such atrocities are being committed just beneath their feet?
At Auschwitz-Birkenau, the larger camp, train tracks ran right under the guardhouse, and ended at the back of the camp. It would literally have been a train to nowhere--prisoners would disembark, under the illusion that they had come to work or even to be resettled, only to be separated into two lines. One line was sent immediately to the gas chambers--small children, pregnant women, the elderly, the handicapped, and anyone deemed unfit for work. The other line was subjected to eleven or more hours of hard labor every day, humiliated--treated as Untermensch (subhuman), without adequate sleep, food, or clothing, until they could work no longer. Then they were either gassed or shot.
I WILL NEVER AGAIN COMPLAIN ABOUT STANDING IN LINE.
We were shown how prisoners in Auschwitz-Birkenau were housed--in buildings that more closely resembled stables than barracks. The horses stabled at the farm where I work have better living conditions. The barracks walls were lined with three-tiered bunks; twelve prisoners could fit on one bunk, because they were so emaciated. There were no toilet or washing facilities in the barracks; there was a separate building for that, where a person would have roughly eleven seconds to wash and relieve himself, twice a day. For breakfast, prisoners were given one cup of coffee. For lunch, a thin soup consisting mainly of water, with no meat. For supper, a piece of bread no bigger than a man's hand. Inconceivable.
Now, after what I have seen, I am tormented by an unanswerable "Why?" and possessed of a useless rage. Yes, anger smolders in the depths of my soul--not against the Nazis; they were only the instruments of a greater evil, which seeks the destruction of all mankind. What good is my anger? There is no channel for it. It is as useless as I am. What can I do? Speak? Who wants to hear about such things? Educate? What could they do? Paint, draw, write [evoke emotion]? Why? What good is any of it?
History constantly repeats itself.
"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun."
-Ecclesiastes 1:9
The same mistakes are made, time and again, and the whole world just stands by and watches, waiting for someone else to do something. God forbid we should do something ourselves! It's not our responsibility, for goodness' sake! No, we leave the decision to act--or not--in the hands of those in authority. Why do we leave our fate and the fate of others in the hands of a few men, who in truth are just as weak as the rest of us? Why not place our trust in a deeper truth, a higher authority--the Deepest and Highest and Only--and act on His authority, by His might?
When people experience something life-changing, their first impulse is to flee from it or forget about it. So they crack a joke, plug in to their iPod, or turn on the television (in my case, pick up a book)--anything to escape the difficult task of introspective thought, self-examination, and mental/spiritual transformation. However, instead of trying to escape, they need to devote time and diligence to processing what has just affected them. Only then will they be changed and grown.
That is the difference between the casual 'Christian' and the true follower of Christ--one is possessed of a holy discontent and is constantly being made more perfect by the renewal of their mind, and the other is content to live with a misbegotten sense of self-righteousness, never even considering the fact that the place where you begin a journey is not the place where it ought to end. They are stagant in their thinking; anything that is inactive or unused for very long begins to rot.
I don't want my experience of Auschwitz to be an event--a one-time occurrence that does nothing to reshape my view of the world and my actions toward it.
Looking back, I think the reason that God allowed me to view Auschwitz without emotion was so that I could not dismiss my personal responsibility. Allow me to explain. When a person sees something terrible, and they feel terrible, they go away from it saying, "That's so terrible," and feel as though they've done their duty. They've felt sorry, and that's enough for them. I did not feel terrible; I did not feel sorry. Therefore, I could not confuse emotion with action. God wants me to do something with what I have learned--not just feel sorry. Sorry is not enough. Sorry is never enough.
When I passed through the main gate of Auschwitz Camp, I walked beneath the lie, "Work Makes You Free" [translation from original German, Arbeit Macht Frei], with the understanding that I would be leaving freely. There was no such escape for the Jews, Gypsies, Russians and Poles who passed through those same gates. They are dead and gone now; even those who survived the camp will soon be little more than dust and a memory. As I remember them, I have to consider others around the world, who are disappearing even as I write. Darfur springs immediately to mind.
"When the Nazis came for the communists, I remained silent; I was not a communist. When they locked up the social democrats, I remained silent; I was not a social democrat. When they came for the trade unionists, I did not speak out; I was not a trade unionist. When they came for the Jews, I remained silent; I was not a Jew. When they came for me, there was no one left to speak out." -Martin Niemoller
Who will speak up for them?
Will there come a day when, in America, it is illegal to be a Christian? Christians in other countries pray for us, the American Christians, because we have grown up believing that it is normal to be a Christian without persecution. What will we do when that day comes? Will we still be brave enough to live and die well? Most certainly, it will be a separation of the wheat from the tares.** I wonder if I will be strong enough. I wonder if those I love and admire will be strong enough.
Walking into the gas chamber sent chills down my spine; unlike thousands of others who went through that door, I was allowed to walk out alive. Should I not then be grateful for every breath of clean air, every moment of freedom, every shower, meal, and article of clothing? How dare I waste one precious moment of this freedom, when I know it will not last!?
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."
-Ephesians 5:16
Every breath of laughter grated on my ears today. I am frustrated and upset, but I don't know what to do about it. There is nowhere for all my passion to go; I have no inspiration, no ideas, nothing to work with.
When we returned to the hotel, the whole group did an art therapy project. I painted in color; I thought I wanted black, but I was wrong. I painted a blazing heart, pouring out fire and light into the darkness all around it. It was hopeful, and fierce. I want my passion to spill over like that, but where do I begin? I feel like a caged lion, muzzled and pacing, enraged by an inability to act.
February 28th, 2009 12:00 a.m.
"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."
-Proverbs 3:27
There is a reason I am being trained up this way; challenged and grown by these experiences. God is uniquely preparing me for something. It is interesting to me, how God often reveals my own faults by showing me the same faults in other people. (I am thinking of Jared.) The directionless, carefree way that he lives, knowing he ought to do something, but never actually doing it, is exactly what I have been doing.
"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
-James 4:17
But it is worse for me, because I know better. I know what I am capable of--what I am called to do--but I have chosen inaction.
"That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."
-Luke 12:47-49
It is wrong to pretend to be more than you are; it is just as wrong to pretend to be less than you are. I am meant to lead; I am meant to be a positive influence, to impact the world. It would be a slap in God's face not to accept that calling. God did not accept excuses from Moses or Jeremiah***; why should He accept them from me?
Beneath every facade of mine, every bit of true pride and false humility, every bit of fear--there is a heart on fire for God. And trying to hide that light is torture. The refusal to be the person God means me to be--the refusal to pray, study, and daily renew my mind--is the rejection of a precious gift and a great charge.
"Put aside the Ranger. Become who you were born to be." -Elrond to Aragon, from The Return of the King
I cannot afford to go my own way; too much is at stake. I must live up to my destiny and take my place in God's kingdom. It takes great courage to die well; it takes even greater courage, I think, to live well. From the beginning of my walk with God, I prayed to be given a difficult task; can I honestly say that I am surprised by His answer? Should I now shrink from the ways He is growing me? He is educating me; therefore, I should endeavor to learn, to prepare as much as possible for the life He has set before me.
I am privileged to learn from Barnabas, and from the other great influences in my life. Will I carry on the great legacy, and in my turn teach others? Will I choose the narrow way, which only a few find? I know my strength is small, but God is great, and He lives in me.
"For nothing is impossible with God."
-Luke 1:37
"With the Lord by our side, there is nothing we cannot do. Separated from Him, we will collapse almost immediately. With so good a friend and Captain ever present, Himself the first to suffer, everything can be borne. He helps. He strengthens. He never fails. He is a true friend." -St. Teresa of Avila
I cannot fathom what God is trying to make of me... but the real question is whether or not I will allow him to take complete control of me, and change me forever.
*Population of Piedmont Triad, NC
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piedmont_Triad
**Matthew 13:24-31
***Exodus 4:10-12; Jeremiah 1:6-8 & 17
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Holocaust Studies: Cain and Abel
(Excerpts from my journal are in italics and are dated.)
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in its presence." -Smith Hempstone
February 26th, 2009 6:30 p.m.
Tonight we had our first training session after a day that was, for me, sobering and heartrending. It was a sharp contrast to the lighthearted spirit of yesterday. We woke up this morning to discover that Joanna felt fine, but Meredith Musten and Holly were both ill. We decided that the reason Joanna had to get sick before the trip was so that there would be medicine for the others when we reached Poland. So Meredith, Holly and the teacher from Florida stayed behind at the hotel while the rest of us ate a quick breakfast and hurried out the door to begin our walking tour of Krakow's Jewish district, Kazimierz.
A few minutes walk from our hotel, Kazimierz used to be a separate town, built when Krakow was overflowing with people. Eventually Kazimierz was annexed by Krakow proper, and became a district of the town. Before World War II, Krakow was home to over 60,000 Jews. After the war, it was home to just 5,000. Today, only 200 religious Jews live in the city of Krakow. The numbers by themselves spoke volumes.
Our first stop in Kazimierz was in a main square, where one of the most important Jewish synagogues and a building that once housed a ritual bathhouse still stand. We stopped before a stone memorial, which was set up in remembrance of the Jews from Kazimierz who perished during the Holocaust. Our guide pointed out the fact that there were no flowers left at this memorial; instead, there were multitudes of stones. This, we learned, is because religious Jews know that a flower will fade away; a stone will last forever. In the same way, they want the memory to last forever.
What we learned about religious Jews leaving stones at gravesites reminded me of something else that lasts forever, and will never fade away.
"The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."
-Isaiah 40:8
We also visited a reformed Jewish synagogue, which was a singular experience; during the war, the building had been used as a stable, and it has since been restored with replicas of the former decorations. It was beautiful. On the way in, I spotted a Star of David scrawled on the wall outside. Patti Sheets and Jaron, however, saw something entirely different--a Nazi poster fastened to a lampost not far from the entrance to the synagogue.
After our visit to the synagogue, we headed for Krakow's former Jewish ghetto, which was not set up in Kazimierz, but in a smaller, poorer, more industrial district of the city. On our way, we stopped in one of the locations where "Schindler's List" was filmed; although it was never actually a part of the ghetto, all of the buildings there are original, so it was easy for the filmmakers to work there. It was chilling, to step into something you'd seen on the screen and imagine what it would have been like during the liquidation of the ghetto, to be hunted down and herded into cattle cars to be shipped off to Auschwitz, Belzac, or similar camps.
Just inside the ghetto, we came to another square, where a memorial had been set up--rows of large chairs, all facing north, toward Belzac, a death camp. The reason for the chairs, our guide said, was that the Jews of the ghetto were told they were being resettled, so they brought all their possessions. Of course, when they were being loaded up and shipped off, there was no time or room to bring the furniture, and so it was left behind in the square. One chair faced east, towards an alley where those who could not work and were not 'worth' transporting were taken and shot, mainly elderly people, the disabled, and the very young--children and infants. I think the most disturbing thing was watching people drive their cars and walk those streets as though they did not know... how could you walk those streets everyday knowing how much blood had been spilled there?
Our last stop in the ghetto was a place where some of the ghetto wall has been left standing. It was built intentionally to resemble Jewish tombstones, as if to say to the Jews, "You are dead to the world, and very soon, you will be dead in reality." As we walked, the Star of David around my neck seemed like a lead weight. I could not help but think that once, wearing that symbol was enough to sentence you to death. And I could not help but wonder... will there ever come a day when wearing a cross will bear just as severe a penalty?
On our way back to Muranow Square, before getting on the tram, we stopped by Schindler's Factory. We did not go in, but by standing on tiptoe and peeking over the gate, or putting our faces to the cracks in between, we could catch a glimpse of what the factory looked like. It was all very strange and dreamlike, to be walking those streets and knowing full well who had walked them before us.
We took our lunch break in Muranow Square; we were very nearly late again, but thanks to Joanna's timing we made it back to the meeting place in plenty of time, though we had to run rather theatrically through the streets, Jaron carrying his uneaten sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil. I sigh. Jaron, Jaron, Jaron...
We stood in the square and listened to the legend of the mismatched towers of St. Mary's Cathedral. The story goes that there were two brothers, each of whom was charged with building one of the towers. For awhile, they built their towers exactly the same, but as time went on the elder brother began to realize that his brother's craftmanship was better; his tower was the more beautiful. So the elder brother worked feverishly on his tower, but in the end he only succeeded in making the taller tower; his brother's was still the more beautiful. So, in a fit of jealous rage, he pushed his brother from the tower to his death. Then, horrified by what he had done, he climbed to the top of his own tower and threw himself from it, taking his life. The story reminds me of Cain and Abel.
After listening to the legend, we went into the church for a look at the most spectacular wooden altar--it was stolen by Germany during the war, but was returned safely from Berlin to Krakow and restored to its rightful place and former condition. The inside of St. Mary's was gorgeous. After St. Mary's, we walked through the Cloth Hall and to the clock tower on the opposite side of Muranow Square, where the clock tower stands, and an enormous sculpture of the head of Eros rests on its side on a platform of stone.
Our guide told us that the giant head is blindfolded because of a Polish saying: "Love is blind--but after you marry, you see much more." This caused all of us to chuckle. Then we thanked our guide and bid her farewell; Chris even hugged her by way of appreciation, and we were turned loose to take more pictures and do some more souvenir shopping. When we were through, we went back to the hotel to take part in our first training session of the week, where a piece of poetry was read to open the discussion:
"Here in this transport, I am Eve, with Abel my son. If you see my older son, Cain son of Adam, tell him that I..."
We do not know the author of this gripping piece; it was scrawled in pencil on the inside of a boxcar, written by a woman more than likely on her way to a death camp. She wrote almost as an act of defiance; she wrote as the mother of humankind, mother to both Jew and Gentile. In the boxcar she saw the suffering of her obedient son, Abel, who to me represents the Jew. But her heart did not just ache for him. She longed to be reconciled also with Cain, who to me represents the Nazi. She longs to tell him something, even despite all the evil he is doing by murdering his brother. The sentence trails off; she never finishes. We do not know if that was intentional or not. But if I could finish the poem, I would write two words: "love him." Or perhaps, "forgive him."
Later on, I remembered a portion from Corrie Ten Boom's "The Hiding Place" when Corrie could not find it in herself to shake the hand of one of the Ravensbruck prison guards. However, with the strength only God can provide, she took his hand and offered the man forgiveness. What a powerful testament to God's love, that we can forgive even the seemingly unforgivable, by His might.
We discussed the terminology of the Holocaust, and some of the key players in it. It made me so angry to realize that really, just a handful of men took hold of a whole nation and bent it to their will without anyone realizing what they were doing. How could no one see? Perhaps because no one wished to see. It made me want to punch something; I was indignant at the idea of standing by and watching such evil things happen... and doing nothing to stop them.
It was such a large amount of information to take in; we were supposed to journal about it, but Joanna and I spent most of our time after the session talking it out, and expressing our frustration with those who blindly follow those in power, never questioning their motives or morals, or asking why. It was a fruitful discussion.
We wrapped up the session by watching a video preview of Auschwitz and talking just a little about Holocaust denial, which is gaining credence in the western world. We watched a video of a group of Australian scientists, who supposedly found no evidence of anything on the site where Treblinka, the death camp, once stood. I do not understand how something that was so thoroughly documented could be so easily denied. It made me so angry, even to think of people buying into such a lie.
I was glad to have done so much reading ahead of time; I knew many of the names Barnabas read off to us, and knew something about each man, including the incredible legacy of Raphael Lemkin, the man who coined the term 'genocide.' I read about his life in Samantha Power's "A Problem from Hell: America and the Age of Genocide." The only man I was unfamilar with was Joseph Mengele, who I am now morbidly curious about. The man must have been a true psychopath, to commit the atrocities he did--a man without a conscience.
We also discussed the events leading up to the Holocaust--nothing just happens; there are always precursory events--and the similarities between Nazism and modern day America*, which were disturbing. There has been forced sterilazation and abortion of 'undesirable' babies, and even now 800 concentration camps stand staffed and ready, but empty.**
*25 Similarities Between Nazism and America
http://67.36.84.226/crosstalk2/ct090210.pdf
**US Concentration Camps
http://www.mindfully.org/Reform/2004/FEMA-Concentration-Camps3sep04.htm
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in its presence." -Smith Hempstone
Photograph: Ghetto Walls in Krakow's Former Jewish Ghetto
February 26th, 2009 6:30 p.m.
Tonight we had our first training session after a day that was, for me, sobering and heartrending. It was a sharp contrast to the lighthearted spirit of yesterday. We woke up this morning to discover that Joanna felt fine, but Meredith Musten and Holly were both ill. We decided that the reason Joanna had to get sick before the trip was so that there would be medicine for the others when we reached Poland. So Meredith, Holly and the teacher from Florida stayed behind at the hotel while the rest of us ate a quick breakfast and hurried out the door to begin our walking tour of Krakow's Jewish district, Kazimierz.
A few minutes walk from our hotel, Kazimierz used to be a separate town, built when Krakow was overflowing with people. Eventually Kazimierz was annexed by Krakow proper, and became a district of the town. Before World War II, Krakow was home to over 60,000 Jews. After the war, it was home to just 5,000. Today, only 200 religious Jews live in the city of Krakow. The numbers by themselves spoke volumes.
Our first stop in Kazimierz was in a main square, where one of the most important Jewish synagogues and a building that once housed a ritual bathhouse still stand. We stopped before a stone memorial, which was set up in remembrance of the Jews from Kazimierz who perished during the Holocaust. Our guide pointed out the fact that there were no flowers left at this memorial; instead, there were multitudes of stones. This, we learned, is because religious Jews know that a flower will fade away; a stone will last forever. In the same way, they want the memory to last forever.
What we learned about religious Jews leaving stones at gravesites reminded me of something else that lasts forever, and will never fade away.
"The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."
-Isaiah 40:8
We also visited a reformed Jewish synagogue, which was a singular experience; during the war, the building had been used as a stable, and it has since been restored with replicas of the former decorations. It was beautiful. On the way in, I spotted a Star of David scrawled on the wall outside. Patti Sheets and Jaron, however, saw something entirely different--a Nazi poster fastened to a lampost not far from the entrance to the synagogue.
After our visit to the synagogue, we headed for Krakow's former Jewish ghetto, which was not set up in Kazimierz, but in a smaller, poorer, more industrial district of the city. On our way, we stopped in one of the locations where "Schindler's List" was filmed; although it was never actually a part of the ghetto, all of the buildings there are original, so it was easy for the filmmakers to work there. It was chilling, to step into something you'd seen on the screen and imagine what it would have been like during the liquidation of the ghetto, to be hunted down and herded into cattle cars to be shipped off to Auschwitz, Belzac, or similar camps.
Just inside the ghetto, we came to another square, where a memorial had been set up--rows of large chairs, all facing north, toward Belzac, a death camp. The reason for the chairs, our guide said, was that the Jews of the ghetto were told they were being resettled, so they brought all their possessions. Of course, when they were being loaded up and shipped off, there was no time or room to bring the furniture, and so it was left behind in the square. One chair faced east, towards an alley where those who could not work and were not 'worth' transporting were taken and shot, mainly elderly people, the disabled, and the very young--children and infants. I think the most disturbing thing was watching people drive their cars and walk those streets as though they did not know... how could you walk those streets everyday knowing how much blood had been spilled there?
Our last stop in the ghetto was a place where some of the ghetto wall has been left standing. It was built intentionally to resemble Jewish tombstones, as if to say to the Jews, "You are dead to the world, and very soon, you will be dead in reality." As we walked, the Star of David around my neck seemed like a lead weight. I could not help but think that once, wearing that symbol was enough to sentence you to death. And I could not help but wonder... will there ever come a day when wearing a cross will bear just as severe a penalty?
On our way back to Muranow Square, before getting on the tram, we stopped by Schindler's Factory. We did not go in, but by standing on tiptoe and peeking over the gate, or putting our faces to the cracks in between, we could catch a glimpse of what the factory looked like. It was all very strange and dreamlike, to be walking those streets and knowing full well who had walked them before us.
We took our lunch break in Muranow Square; we were very nearly late again, but thanks to Joanna's timing we made it back to the meeting place in plenty of time, though we had to run rather theatrically through the streets, Jaron carrying his uneaten sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil. I sigh. Jaron, Jaron, Jaron...
We stood in the square and listened to the legend of the mismatched towers of St. Mary's Cathedral. The story goes that there were two brothers, each of whom was charged with building one of the towers. For awhile, they built their towers exactly the same, but as time went on the elder brother began to realize that his brother's craftmanship was better; his tower was the more beautiful. So the elder brother worked feverishly on his tower, but in the end he only succeeded in making the taller tower; his brother's was still the more beautiful. So, in a fit of jealous rage, he pushed his brother from the tower to his death. Then, horrified by what he had done, he climbed to the top of his own tower and threw himself from it, taking his life. The story reminds me of Cain and Abel.
After listening to the legend, we went into the church for a look at the most spectacular wooden altar--it was stolen by Germany during the war, but was returned safely from Berlin to Krakow and restored to its rightful place and former condition. The inside of St. Mary's was gorgeous. After St. Mary's, we walked through the Cloth Hall and to the clock tower on the opposite side of Muranow Square, where the clock tower stands, and an enormous sculpture of the head of Eros rests on its side on a platform of stone.
Our guide told us that the giant head is blindfolded because of a Polish saying: "Love is blind--but after you marry, you see much more." This caused all of us to chuckle. Then we thanked our guide and bid her farewell; Chris even hugged her by way of appreciation, and we were turned loose to take more pictures and do some more souvenir shopping. When we were through, we went back to the hotel to take part in our first training session of the week, where a piece of poetry was read to open the discussion:
"Here in this transport, I am Eve, with Abel my son. If you see my older son, Cain son of Adam, tell him that I..."
We do not know the author of this gripping piece; it was scrawled in pencil on the inside of a boxcar, written by a woman more than likely on her way to a death camp. She wrote almost as an act of defiance; she wrote as the mother of humankind, mother to both Jew and Gentile. In the boxcar she saw the suffering of her obedient son, Abel, who to me represents the Jew. But her heart did not just ache for him. She longed to be reconciled also with Cain, who to me represents the Nazi. She longs to tell him something, even despite all the evil he is doing by murdering his brother. The sentence trails off; she never finishes. We do not know if that was intentional or not. But if I could finish the poem, I would write two words: "love him." Or perhaps, "forgive him."
Later on, I remembered a portion from Corrie Ten Boom's "The Hiding Place" when Corrie could not find it in herself to shake the hand of one of the Ravensbruck prison guards. However, with the strength only God can provide, she took his hand and offered the man forgiveness. What a powerful testament to God's love, that we can forgive even the seemingly unforgivable, by His might.
We discussed the terminology of the Holocaust, and some of the key players in it. It made me so angry to realize that really, just a handful of men took hold of a whole nation and bent it to their will without anyone realizing what they were doing. How could no one see? Perhaps because no one wished to see. It made me want to punch something; I was indignant at the idea of standing by and watching such evil things happen... and doing nothing to stop them.
It was such a large amount of information to take in; we were supposed to journal about it, but Joanna and I spent most of our time after the session talking it out, and expressing our frustration with those who blindly follow those in power, never questioning their motives or morals, or asking why. It was a fruitful discussion.
We wrapped up the session by watching a video preview of Auschwitz and talking just a little about Holocaust denial, which is gaining credence in the western world. We watched a video of a group of Australian scientists, who supposedly found no evidence of anything on the site where Treblinka, the death camp, once stood. I do not understand how something that was so thoroughly documented could be so easily denied. It made me so angry, even to think of people buying into such a lie.
I was glad to have done so much reading ahead of time; I knew many of the names Barnabas read off to us, and knew something about each man, including the incredible legacy of Raphael Lemkin, the man who coined the term 'genocide.' I read about his life in Samantha Power's "A Problem from Hell: America and the Age of Genocide." The only man I was unfamilar with was Joseph Mengele, who I am now morbidly curious about. The man must have been a true psychopath, to commit the atrocities he did--a man without a conscience.
We also discussed the events leading up to the Holocaust--nothing just happens; there are always precursory events--and the similarities between Nazism and modern day America*, which were disturbing. There has been forced sterilazation and abortion of 'undesirable' babies, and even now 800 concentration camps stand staffed and ready, but empty.**
*25 Similarities Between Nazism and America
http://67.36.84.226/crosstalk2/ct090210.pdf
**US Concentration Camps
http://www.mindfully.org/Reform/2004/FEMA-Concentration-Camps3sep04.htm
Holocaust Studies: The Bugle and The Dragon
(Excerpts from my journal are in italics and are dated.)
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in its presence." - Smith Hempstone
From February 24th to March 2nd, 2009, I was in Krakow, Poland with a group called Global Next Research Institute. I went with three other students and two teachers from North Carolina, and a group of eleven students and one teacher from Florida. In Krakow, we met the teacher of the conference, Dr. Phil Johnson. I've had the privilege to travel to international leadership conferences taught by Dr. Johnson before--a communication conference in France, Belgium and Holland, and a leadership conference in Ireland--so I knew him, and most of my fellow students, quite well.
February 25th, 2009 11:30 a.m.
It's already the beginning of day two--how crazy is that? We left from PTI yesterday and flew into Washington-Dulles, where we met up with the kids from Florida--Jared Mosely has gotten so tall--and had a short layover before boarding the plane to Frankfurt, Germany. In Germany, security check made us late to catch our short flight to Poland, but we made up a large portion of the people on the flight, so they waited for us and we are now in Krakow, where I now sit in my hotel room writing all of this down.
Joanna Pinkerton hasn't felt well for the past couple of days, but the doctor cleared her to travel, and she was fine on the plane, but we'll see how her stomach holds up. Jaron Grimm had a hard time sleeping on the plane, poor thing. Other than that, the flight was uneventful. In spite of Jaron climbing over my knees periodically, I slept for several hours and was well rested by the time the sun began to rise.
There is snow on the ground here in Krakow; our bus driver told us that there was a meter of snow last week. Wow. However, the snow and slush is very suitable, I think, and fits my mental picture of Poland very well. I am very glad now that I borrowed Kalis' boots.
I am rooming with Joanna and a girl named Holly Treesh, who has been on other trips with me, so I am familar with her. In fact, there are only four people in this group that I do not know, but seeing as we are staying in one city all week, we should have a lot more bonding time. Seeing Jared again after two years is wonderful--I'm looking forward to the chance to talk with him and find out what has been going on in his life. And seeing Barnabas [my nickname for Dr. Johnson] again is marvelous. Even though I've only seen him for one week a year for each of the past three years, I feel as though I have known him my whole life; I am eager to learn what he has to teach me this week. I have learned so much from him in the past.
On the bus ride back to the hotel, Barnabas told us a little bit about Krakow, and he laid out the week's itinerary for us, mentioning the fact that he has scoped out a few coffee shops for us to hang out in after the evening sessions; that will certainly be a different experience! He encouraged us to play in the snow in the park around the corner from our hotel, and he also told us that he had a chance to talk to Magda, one of the hotel attendants, who has invited to attend the only English-speaking evangelical church in Krakow on Sunday morning. Wow--I've never attended a church outside of my home country. I am eagerly anticipating the experience.
We're going on a walking tour in just a little while, to get our bearings, so I'm going to clean up a little bit and get my things together. I'll write more later tonight.
Every trip I've been on with Dr. Johnson has been unique, an opportunity for growth that cannot be duplicated. This trip was no exception. The differences this time were easy to spot right off the bat. First, the topic was much heavier than any topic dealt with in the conferences I'd attended before, though I had been to the Corrie Ten Boom house and the Anne Frank house on my first tour. Second, we stayed in one city for the duration of the trip, which allowed us to become more familar with the city and more comfortable in our surroundings, as well as affording a lot of opportunity for fellowship, good conversation, and fun. Third, everyone on the trip was familar to me. There were very few strangers to get to know.
Looking back on the past week, I realize what an ideal situation this was. It allowed everyone a greater level of comfort, which in turn allowed them to be more vulnerable and, I think, made it somewhat easier to deal with the weight of the topic.
February 25th, 2009 9:55 p.m.
Today was a jam-packed day, let me tell you! Our orientation tour began in Muranow Square, in the heart of Krakow, about three blocks from our hotel. Barnabas filled us in on all the local legends, beginning with the legend of the bugler of St. Mary's Cathedral.
The bugler was the watchman in the taller of St. Mary's two towers. It was his job to sound his bugle if he spotted danger, like a storm, a fire, or invader. As the story goes, the bugler spotted invading Tartars climbing over the city walls, and he began to sound the alarm, but he was shot through the throat by an archer, silencing the bugle call. In honor of the legendary bugler, muscians take 24-hour shifts in the tower, playing every hour on the hour, once from each of the northern, southern, eastern and western-facing windows. Each call is cut off mid-bugle, to comemorate the bravery of the man who died.
The leadership lesson we are to take from this Polish legend is that, as leaders, we often see approaching danger, and it is our duty to sound the alarm, even at great risk to ourselves. I consider the prophet Jeremiah, and men such as Winston Churchill, when I remember the brave bugler of St. Mary's. Though these men were the bearers of bad tidings, they held their ground until those around them finally acknowledged the danger.
After my return from Poland, I was reading some of the prophetic passages from Ezekiel, when I came across this passage about a watchman's responsibility:
"The word of the LORD came to me: "Son of man, speak to your countrymen and say to them: 'When I bring the sword against a land, and the people of the land choose one of their men and make him their watchman, and he sees the sword coming against the land and blows the trumpet to warn the people, then if anyone hears the trumpet but does not take warning and the sword comes and takes his life, his blood will be on his own head. Since he heard the sound of the trumpet but did not take warning, his blood will be on his own head. If he had taken warning, he would have saved himself. But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes the life of one of them, that man will be taken away because of his sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for his blood.'
"Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me. When I say to the wicked, 'O wicked man, you will surely die,' and you do not speak out to dissuade him from his ways, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man to turn from his ways and he does not do so, he will die for his sin, but you will have saved yourself."
-Ezekiel 33:1-9
It is our responsibility as Christians to warn others of what is coming, like Jonah in Ninevah, telling the nations to repent and come under the grace of God before it is too late. This is a solemn charge; if we do not warn them, not only do they die, but their blood is on our hands.
Also in Muranow Square is a statue of Adamow Mickiewiczowi, a poet whom the Poles cherish, not because of how he makes them feel, but because of what he makes them think about. His poetry reminds them of their past--of how things used to be--and challenges them to think of the present--why things are the way they are now--even while encouraging them to look to the future and decide how they will work to shape it. As leaders, we are called to do those very same things.
After this, we had a short break for lunch and some shopping; I made a trio with Joanna and Jaron and we set out to explore. We walked, took pictures, exchanged our American dollars for Polish zlotys (fantastic exchange rate), and looked for somewhere to eat. We went into a couple of different little cafes, but Jaron was having a hard time deciding, and Joanna didn't want to upset her stomach. We went into a Greek place, but decided the food looked too spicy, and went back out on the street.
No sooner had we stepped out into the street than a man across the street began beckoning to us and gesturing towards his restaurant. He was very enthusiastic, so we thought we would at least have a look inside and see what was to be had. We slipped into the little shop, and quick as a wink the man slammed the door behind us and laughed hysterically. The look on Jaron's face was priceless, and the Polish man had a good time telling the rest of his customers about the gullible Americans, I'm sure. I found the food there very tasty; I had something called Mudi, which was beef sausage, red and green bell peppers, and cheese all wrapped up and baked inside a cheesy dough.
Joanna decided to buy a bagel on the street--bagels and pretzels are very big in Poland--and Jaron decided he wasn't hungry, so we wandered through the Cloth Hall, an enormous open building that occupies the center of Muranow Square, where we found leather and furs, amber and silver jewelry, hand-carved chess sets and treasure boxes, antique weaponry, and much more. We didn't buy anything--just kind of scoped it out.
At long last, Jaron decided he might like some soup to eat, so we went into a little restaurant, sat down, and enjoyed being in Poland. We thought we might use the restrooms, but the entire downstairs area of the restaurant, where we were assured the bathrooms were located, looked a bit shady, so we stayed upstairs and waited for the check. And we waited. And we waited.
Finally we were able to pay the bill, but by then we had to hurry back to the statue of Mickiewiczowi, where the group had agreed to meet. We arrived with six seconds to spare, and I know what a stickler for time Barnabas is, and I tend to agree with him. Being late is just rude. "It is the height of selfishness to make everyone else wait on you." That's a direct Barnabas quote, right there.
From there we continued our tour, down the street from Muranow Square to the Church of St. Peter and St. Paul, whose architect spent so much money on the outside of the building that there was nothing left to decorate the inside. So the church is really just a beautiful, empty shell. The leadership lesson we were to take from this was that we need to pay more attention our inner selves--the condition of our hearts--without worrying so much about the outer appearance. We need to develop our character, instead of just trying to impress other people.
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
-1 Samuel 16:7b
Next to St. Peter and St. Paul's is the much less impressive but far more practical St. Andrews. We proceeded from there to Wawel [pronounced VAH-vull] Castle, from whose hilltop grounds one can see a magnificent view of the Vistula River. The sun was just beginning to go down, giving everything that golden tinge. The castle itself was a mismash of designs--it was made of stone, brick, and concrete, and it had towers, cupolas, spires and gargoyles. It looks like a giant, unifinished puzzle. The castle, however, was not the main attraction at Wawel Hill.
The main character at Wawel Castle was not its king, but its dragon. From the height of the hill you could look down on the statue of Krakow's dragon, which breathes fire every five minutes or so. The legend, however, was far more entertaining even than a fire-breathing statue.
Long ago, before there was a Krakow or a Wawel Hill, there was a village on the opposite shore of the Vistula, where farmers and shepherds lived. The elders of the village forbid the young men from crossing the river, telling them of a ferocious dragon who lived there, and whose wrath would be roused if he were ever disturbed. The young men, however, being young men, did not believe the elders. So they set off across the river to prove that the dragon did not exist.
They accomplished the opposite of their goal, and succeeded in awakening the dragon, which proceeded to burn and plunder the village, carrying off livestock and young virgins [Barnabas paused in the telling of the legend to elbow Nick Hellenbrand], and generally wreaking havoc. Many of the young men tried to slay the terrible dragon, riding in on their white horses and brandishing their swords, but the dragon had them for lunch... literally.
Finally one clever young man, by the name of Krakus, came up with an idea. He killed a sheep and stuffed it with sulphur, and in the dead of night rowed across the river and left the offering at the entrance to the dragon's den. In the morning, when the dragon awoke, it saw breakfast sitting there and gobbled it right up. However, when the sulphur met the fire in the dragon's belly, the dragon became possessed of a raging thirst. It went to the river and began to drink, but his thirst would not be quenched. So he drank, and drank, and drank, until finally he could hold no more and he exploded.
The villagers rejoiced; they crowned Krakus king and named the city after him, and everyone lived happily ever after. There are several points to this story. First, listen to your elders. They know where the 'dragons' are in life. And second, when we do meet up with a dragon, we must be both clever and courageous in our efforts to defeat it.
"I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one."
-1 John 2:14b
After the telling of this legend, Chris Barrans instigated a snowball fight, and later we went into the visitor's center for some of the best hot chocolate I have ever tasted. Then it was back to Muranow Square, where we were released for further shopping and told to meet back at the hotel in time for supper.
I purchased souvenirs for my family, and for myself a silver Star of David, with an amber stone in the center. Amber, the resin of ancient trees, preserves many things in its gold-toned translucence, and this particular amber is taken from the Baltic Sea. I chose the star set with amber to remind me always that I am to preserve the memory of the 11,000,000 men, women and children who were murdered during the Holocaust.
At the hotel, after supper, it was decided that we would go out for coffee and ice cream at the shop Barnabas had scoped out earlier, which we did. It was a great opportunity to unwind, and kind of relax into Polish culture. And now, after all this writing, I am going to shower and drop exhaustedly into bed... good night.
I hope you enjoyed the recounting of my first day in Poland. More to follow!
"One may not be able to triumph over evil, but one need not remain silent in its presence." - Smith Hempstone
Photograph: Fence Railing in Kazimierz (Jewish District of Krakow)
From February 24th to March 2nd, 2009, I was in Krakow, Poland with a group called Global Next Research Institute. I went with three other students and two teachers from North Carolina, and a group of eleven students and one teacher from Florida. In Krakow, we met the teacher of the conference, Dr. Phil Johnson. I've had the privilege to travel to international leadership conferences taught by Dr. Johnson before--a communication conference in France, Belgium and Holland, and a leadership conference in Ireland--so I knew him, and most of my fellow students, quite well.
February 25th, 2009 11:30 a.m.
It's already the beginning of day two--how crazy is that? We left from PTI yesterday and flew into Washington-Dulles, where we met up with the kids from Florida--Jared Mosely has gotten so tall--and had a short layover before boarding the plane to Frankfurt, Germany. In Germany, security check made us late to catch our short flight to Poland, but we made up a large portion of the people on the flight, so they waited for us and we are now in Krakow, where I now sit in my hotel room writing all of this down.
Joanna Pinkerton hasn't felt well for the past couple of days, but the doctor cleared her to travel, and she was fine on the plane, but we'll see how her stomach holds up. Jaron Grimm had a hard time sleeping on the plane, poor thing. Other than that, the flight was uneventful. In spite of Jaron climbing over my knees periodically, I slept for several hours and was well rested by the time the sun began to rise.
There is snow on the ground here in Krakow; our bus driver told us that there was a meter of snow last week. Wow. However, the snow and slush is very suitable, I think, and fits my mental picture of Poland very well. I am very glad now that I borrowed Kalis' boots.
I am rooming with Joanna and a girl named Holly Treesh, who has been on other trips with me, so I am familar with her. In fact, there are only four people in this group that I do not know, but seeing as we are staying in one city all week, we should have a lot more bonding time. Seeing Jared again after two years is wonderful--I'm looking forward to the chance to talk with him and find out what has been going on in his life. And seeing Barnabas [my nickname for Dr. Johnson] again is marvelous. Even though I've only seen him for one week a year for each of the past three years, I feel as though I have known him my whole life; I am eager to learn what he has to teach me this week. I have learned so much from him in the past.
On the bus ride back to the hotel, Barnabas told us a little bit about Krakow, and he laid out the week's itinerary for us, mentioning the fact that he has scoped out a few coffee shops for us to hang out in after the evening sessions; that will certainly be a different experience! He encouraged us to play in the snow in the park around the corner from our hotel, and he also told us that he had a chance to talk to Magda, one of the hotel attendants, who has invited to attend the only English-speaking evangelical church in Krakow on Sunday morning. Wow--I've never attended a church outside of my home country. I am eagerly anticipating the experience.
We're going on a walking tour in just a little while, to get our bearings, so I'm going to clean up a little bit and get my things together. I'll write more later tonight.
Every trip I've been on with Dr. Johnson has been unique, an opportunity for growth that cannot be duplicated. This trip was no exception. The differences this time were easy to spot right off the bat. First, the topic was much heavier than any topic dealt with in the conferences I'd attended before, though I had been to the Corrie Ten Boom house and the Anne Frank house on my first tour. Second, we stayed in one city for the duration of the trip, which allowed us to become more familar with the city and more comfortable in our surroundings, as well as affording a lot of opportunity for fellowship, good conversation, and fun. Third, everyone on the trip was familar to me. There were very few strangers to get to know.
Looking back on the past week, I realize what an ideal situation this was. It allowed everyone a greater level of comfort, which in turn allowed them to be more vulnerable and, I think, made it somewhat easier to deal with the weight of the topic.
February 25th, 2009 9:55 p.m.
Today was a jam-packed day, let me tell you! Our orientation tour began in Muranow Square, in the heart of Krakow, about three blocks from our hotel. Barnabas filled us in on all the local legends, beginning with the legend of the bugler of St. Mary's Cathedral.
The bugler was the watchman in the taller of St. Mary's two towers. It was his job to sound his bugle if he spotted danger, like a storm, a fire, or invader. As the story goes, the bugler spotted invading Tartars climbing over the city walls, and he began to sound the alarm, but he was shot through the throat by an archer, silencing the bugle call. In honor of the legendary bugler, muscians take 24-hour shifts in the tower, playing every hour on the hour, once from each of the northern, southern, eastern and western-facing windows. Each call is cut off mid-bugle, to comemorate the bravery of the man who died.
The leadership lesson we are to take from this Polish legend is that, as leaders, we often see approaching danger, and it is our duty to sound the alarm, even at great risk to ourselves. I consider the prophet Jeremiah, and men such as Winston Churchill, when I remember the brave bugler of St. Mary's. Though these men were the bearers of bad tidings, they held their ground until those around them finally acknowledged the danger.
After my return from Poland, I was reading some of the prophetic passages from Ezekiel, when I came across this passage about a watchman's responsibility:
"The word of the LORD came to me: "Son of man, speak to your countrymen and say to them: 'When I bring the sword against a land, and the people of the land choose one of their men and make him their watchman, and he sees the sword coming against the land and blows the trumpet to warn the people, then if anyone hears the trumpet but does not take warning and the sword comes and takes his life, his blood will be on his own head. Since he heard the sound of the trumpet but did not take warning, his blood will be on his own head. If he had taken warning, he would have saved himself. But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes the life of one of them, that man will be taken away because of his sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for his blood.'
"Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me. When I say to the wicked, 'O wicked man, you will surely die,' and you do not speak out to dissuade him from his ways, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man to turn from his ways and he does not do so, he will die for his sin, but you will have saved yourself."
-Ezekiel 33:1-9
It is our responsibility as Christians to warn others of what is coming, like Jonah in Ninevah, telling the nations to repent and come under the grace of God before it is too late. This is a solemn charge; if we do not warn them, not only do they die, but their blood is on our hands.
Also in Muranow Square is a statue of Adamow Mickiewiczowi, a poet whom the Poles cherish, not because of how he makes them feel, but because of what he makes them think about. His poetry reminds them of their past--of how things used to be--and challenges them to think of the present--why things are the way they are now--even while encouraging them to look to the future and decide how they will work to shape it. As leaders, we are called to do those very same things.
After this, we had a short break for lunch and some shopping; I made a trio with Joanna and Jaron and we set out to explore. We walked, took pictures, exchanged our American dollars for Polish zlotys (fantastic exchange rate), and looked for somewhere to eat. We went into a couple of different little cafes, but Jaron was having a hard time deciding, and Joanna didn't want to upset her stomach. We went into a Greek place, but decided the food looked too spicy, and went back out on the street.
No sooner had we stepped out into the street than a man across the street began beckoning to us and gesturing towards his restaurant. He was very enthusiastic, so we thought we would at least have a look inside and see what was to be had. We slipped into the little shop, and quick as a wink the man slammed the door behind us and laughed hysterically. The look on Jaron's face was priceless, and the Polish man had a good time telling the rest of his customers about the gullible Americans, I'm sure. I found the food there very tasty; I had something called Mudi, which was beef sausage, red and green bell peppers, and cheese all wrapped up and baked inside a cheesy dough.
Joanna decided to buy a bagel on the street--bagels and pretzels are very big in Poland--and Jaron decided he wasn't hungry, so we wandered through the Cloth Hall, an enormous open building that occupies the center of Muranow Square, where we found leather and furs, amber and silver jewelry, hand-carved chess sets and treasure boxes, antique weaponry, and much more. We didn't buy anything--just kind of scoped it out.
At long last, Jaron decided he might like some soup to eat, so we went into a little restaurant, sat down, and enjoyed being in Poland. We thought we might use the restrooms, but the entire downstairs area of the restaurant, where we were assured the bathrooms were located, looked a bit shady, so we stayed upstairs and waited for the check. And we waited. And we waited.
Finally we were able to pay the bill, but by then we had to hurry back to the statue of Mickiewiczowi, where the group had agreed to meet. We arrived with six seconds to spare, and I know what a stickler for time Barnabas is, and I tend to agree with him. Being late is just rude. "It is the height of selfishness to make everyone else wait on you." That's a direct Barnabas quote, right there.
From there we continued our tour, down the street from Muranow Square to the Church of St. Peter and St. Paul, whose architect spent so much money on the outside of the building that there was nothing left to decorate the inside. So the church is really just a beautiful, empty shell. The leadership lesson we were to take from this was that we need to pay more attention our inner selves--the condition of our hearts--without worrying so much about the outer appearance. We need to develop our character, instead of just trying to impress other people.
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
-1 Samuel 16:7b
Next to St. Peter and St. Paul's is the much less impressive but far more practical St. Andrews. We proceeded from there to Wawel [pronounced VAH-vull] Castle, from whose hilltop grounds one can see a magnificent view of the Vistula River. The sun was just beginning to go down, giving everything that golden tinge. The castle itself was a mismash of designs--it was made of stone, brick, and concrete, and it had towers, cupolas, spires and gargoyles. It looks like a giant, unifinished puzzle. The castle, however, was not the main attraction at Wawel Hill.
The main character at Wawel Castle was not its king, but its dragon. From the height of the hill you could look down on the statue of Krakow's dragon, which breathes fire every five minutes or so. The legend, however, was far more entertaining even than a fire-breathing statue.
Long ago, before there was a Krakow or a Wawel Hill, there was a village on the opposite shore of the Vistula, where farmers and shepherds lived. The elders of the village forbid the young men from crossing the river, telling them of a ferocious dragon who lived there, and whose wrath would be roused if he were ever disturbed. The young men, however, being young men, did not believe the elders. So they set off across the river to prove that the dragon did not exist.
They accomplished the opposite of their goal, and succeeded in awakening the dragon, which proceeded to burn and plunder the village, carrying off livestock and young virgins [Barnabas paused in the telling of the legend to elbow Nick Hellenbrand], and generally wreaking havoc. Many of the young men tried to slay the terrible dragon, riding in on their white horses and brandishing their swords, but the dragon had them for lunch... literally.
Finally one clever young man, by the name of Krakus, came up with an idea. He killed a sheep and stuffed it with sulphur, and in the dead of night rowed across the river and left the offering at the entrance to the dragon's den. In the morning, when the dragon awoke, it saw breakfast sitting there and gobbled it right up. However, when the sulphur met the fire in the dragon's belly, the dragon became possessed of a raging thirst. It went to the river and began to drink, but his thirst would not be quenched. So he drank, and drank, and drank, until finally he could hold no more and he exploded.
The villagers rejoiced; they crowned Krakus king and named the city after him, and everyone lived happily ever after. There are several points to this story. First, listen to your elders. They know where the 'dragons' are in life. And second, when we do meet up with a dragon, we must be both clever and courageous in our efforts to defeat it.
"I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one."
-1 John 2:14b
After the telling of this legend, Chris Barrans instigated a snowball fight, and later we went into the visitor's center for some of the best hot chocolate I have ever tasted. Then it was back to Muranow Square, where we were released for further shopping and told to meet back at the hotel in time for supper.
I purchased souvenirs for my family, and for myself a silver Star of David, with an amber stone in the center. Amber, the resin of ancient trees, preserves many things in its gold-toned translucence, and this particular amber is taken from the Baltic Sea. I chose the star set with amber to remind me always that I am to preserve the memory of the 11,000,000 men, women and children who were murdered during the Holocaust.
At the hotel, after supper, it was decided that we would go out for coffee and ice cream at the shop Barnabas had scoped out earlier, which we did. It was a great opportunity to unwind, and kind of relax into Polish culture. And now, after all this writing, I am going to shower and drop exhaustedly into bed... good night.
I hope you enjoyed the recounting of my first day in Poland. More to follow!
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