I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to you enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
(Legacy, by Nichole Nordeman)
August seemed a lot farther away in January. Now, in June, August is looming on the horizon. It is literally just around the corner. And in August, I'll be heading off to college at Mid-Atlantic Christian University (formerly Roanoke Bible College). I'll be majoring in Cross-Cultural Ministries and minoring in Counseling. I should be excited. I am. But every time I think about August, I think about all the days that have slipped away.
I could have gone away to school last year, and about this time last year, that's exactly what I wanted to do. God, however, frustrated my plans with a plan of His own.
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."
-Proverbs 19:21
God asked me to wait a year before I went away to college. However, he ordered that I be productive during the season of waiting. God's plan, of course, was much better than mine. I've learned some valuable life lessons this year--lessons I would not have learned otherwise. God has stressed to me that even the smallest things are of great importance, and He has taught me to do ordinary things extraordinarily well, in order to develop my character.
I know that the past year has served the Lord's purpose, but all I can see right now is that the year is over already. It's been like writing a timed essay--trying to get it all down on paper, making it understandable and legible, and now time's up, and I'm left scribbling in the last few letters and plunking a period at the end of it. Then all I can do is hope that what I've written is enough to get my point across. I'm praying that what I've done with this year will be enough.
God, I pray that what I've done in my family will be enough. This year I have worked really hard to build my relationship with my siblings. I won't be here to watch over Madison and Kalis and make sure they're on the right track. I'm going to have to trust that the life I've tried to live and the wisdom I've tried to impart will stay with them and influence their decisions.
God, I pray that what I've done in my church will be enough. It has always been a goal of mine to impact the people of my church, especially the young people. With the clock running down, though, I jumped on it this past year. I've tried to invest in people--encouraging, edifying, identifying their potential and drawing it out. I've tried to get them to think bigger, to remember that they are children of the King, made for so much more than mediocrity. I've tried to convince them that they were made to do great things for Christ. I've talked about it, written about it, and lived it to the best of my ability. But will it be enough?
Have I created a big enough splash in this pond that the ripples will outlast my presence? Will my brother continue to look at dating and marriage in a godly way when I'm no longer around to daily reinforce the lesson? Will the kids in my small group continue to "Do Hard Things" when my constant harping is coming from farther away? Will someone step into my shoes and continue pushing the ones I've tried to mentor, spurring them on to love and good deeds? I hope so. I want it to be so.
I know that I will do my best to serve God's purpose wherever He places me. However, I sometimes think that if I just had a little more time here, I could see the fruits of my work, and then it would be easier to move on. But part of being a leader is planting trees under whose shade we will never sit.
"By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. "
-1 Corinthians 3:10
So that is my challenge to you all. To my brother and sister. To my small group. To my friends. To my youth minister. To my church. I've run my leg of the race; I can't carry the baton any farther than this. God's called me to be somewhere else, doing something else for His glory. So I have to pass it. I pass it to you.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
How to Kill a Leech
A leech. A mooch. A freeloader. We all know at least one. Mine happens to live with me. They do as little work as possible, but they demand more than anyone else. No matter how much attention is lavished on them, they still claim to feel neglected. No matter how many privileges are granted them, they complain about the few that are denied. No matter how you bend over backwards to please them, they are never satisfied. They take and take and take, and never give anything back. Like a leech, they suck the life out of you... until it feels like you have nothing left.
So... what do we do with these people who drive us up the wall? These people who, when we see them coming, make us want to run in the opposite direction? These people we'd sometimes like to strangle? (In my case, anyway...) Well (insert sigh here), this is what the Bible says:
"Here's another old saying that deserves a second look: 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' Is that going to get us anywhere? Here's what I propose: 'Don't hit back at all.' If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, gift-wrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."
Matthew 5:38-48 (The Message)
Oh boy. Talk about hard hitting. But Jesus was always direct and to-the-point that way. My favorite part is: "If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus?" Nobody should get Brownie points for fulfilling the minimum requirements; that's my opinion. Doing only what you ought to be doing anyway isn't anything special, and it's certainly not praiseworthy. Going above and beyond the bare minimum... now, that's something.
It takes real guts to love someone who hates you. And I don't mean the mushy-gushy kind of love, or the philosophy that says Christians ought to be doormats. I mean powerful, courageous, coal-heaping love.*
My brother and I had a fight last week about our resident leech, my younger sister. Now I'll admit that I get on her case as much as anybody else in my family, but that night I'd had enough. They'd been fighting, and she went to bed upset. So I told my brother, at risk of my life, that he ought to go and apologize for his part in the screaming match.
He exploded, "She won't even care if I apologize! She'll still be mad, and she won't change even a little bit! Nothing I do is going to change her!"
So many thoughts ran through my head, little bits of wisdom that were all cliche, and therefore inappropriate. So instead I said this:
"You have to be a man of character whether it changes her or not."
After thinking it over a good long while, he went up and apologized, and as I expected, she threw it in his face, and he came tearing down the stairs in a rage.
"See, I told you!" He snapped.
And I just shook my head. That wasn't the point at all. Some people, my sister included, are hard to love. But that doesn't mean that we just ought to give up on them, or behave towards them as they behave towards us. I don't expect my relationships with difficult people to change in a day... but I do think that I can begin to model a more Christ-like kind of love towards them; the kind of love that says, "I love you as you are, but I don't intend to leave you that way."
Kill 'em with kindness. I don't care if that one is cliche, so there!
*Proverbs 25:21-22
So... what do we do with these people who drive us up the wall? These people who, when we see them coming, make us want to run in the opposite direction? These people we'd sometimes like to strangle? (In my case, anyway...) Well (insert sigh here), this is what the Bible says:
"Here's another old saying that deserves a second look: 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' Is that going to get us anywhere? Here's what I propose: 'Don't hit back at all.' If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, gift-wrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."
Matthew 5:38-48 (The Message)
Oh boy. Talk about hard hitting. But Jesus was always direct and to-the-point that way. My favorite part is: "If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus?" Nobody should get Brownie points for fulfilling the minimum requirements; that's my opinion. Doing only what you ought to be doing anyway isn't anything special, and it's certainly not praiseworthy. Going above and beyond the bare minimum... now, that's something.
It takes real guts to love someone who hates you. And I don't mean the mushy-gushy kind of love, or the philosophy that says Christians ought to be doormats. I mean powerful, courageous, coal-heaping love.*
My brother and I had a fight last week about our resident leech, my younger sister. Now I'll admit that I get on her case as much as anybody else in my family, but that night I'd had enough. They'd been fighting, and she went to bed upset. So I told my brother, at risk of my life, that he ought to go and apologize for his part in the screaming match.
He exploded, "She won't even care if I apologize! She'll still be mad, and she won't change even a little bit! Nothing I do is going to change her!"
So many thoughts ran through my head, little bits of wisdom that were all cliche, and therefore inappropriate. So instead I said this:
"You have to be a man of character whether it changes her or not."
After thinking it over a good long while, he went up and apologized, and as I expected, she threw it in his face, and he came tearing down the stairs in a rage.
"See, I told you!" He snapped.
And I just shook my head. That wasn't the point at all. Some people, my sister included, are hard to love. But that doesn't mean that we just ought to give up on them, or behave towards them as they behave towards us. I don't expect my relationships with difficult people to change in a day... but I do think that I can begin to model a more Christ-like kind of love towards them; the kind of love that says, "I love you as you are, but I don't intend to leave you that way."
Kill 'em with kindness. I don't care if that one is cliche, so there!
*Proverbs 25:21-22
Friday, May 22, 2009
Like A Whisper
(Below is a song I recently finished writing, entitled Like a Whisper.)
(verse 1)
I was Elijah in the desert
Despairing of my life
All alone with my fear
I had no more excuses
And no one left to blame
Death seemed an easy escape
(verse 2)
But like Elijah on Horeb
The LORD questioned me:
"What are you doing here?"
I didn't have an answer
I couldn't find the words
But then the LORD passed by
(chorus)
The wind that night
Could have torn apart the mountains
And lightning flashed
Like fire in the sky
The thunder roared
And shook the earth's foundations
The rain poured down
To wash away my tears
And my heart of stone
Was shattered in His presence
And in the aftermath of that storm
I heard His voice
Like a whisper
(verse 3)
I am David at Adullam
Running for my life
My courage fails at every turn
I'm in the valley of the shadow
And it's hard to see the light
But I hope in the LORD my God
(chorus)
The wind that night
Could have torn apart the mountains
And lightning flashed
Like fire in the sky
The thunder roared
And shook the earth's foundations
The rain poured down
To wash away my tears
And my heart of stone
Was shattered in His presence
And in the aftermath of that storm
I heard His voice
Like a whisper
(verse 4)
I've been called like Jeremiah
Young and so afraid
His Word a fire in my heart
God is with me like a warrior
He rescues and He saves
And I stand only because
(chorus)
The wind that night
Could have torn apart the mountains
And lightning flashed
Like fire in the sky
The thunder roared
And shook the earth's foundations
The rain poured down
To wash away my tears
And my heart of stone
Was shattered in His presence
And in the aftermath of that storm
I heard His voice
Like a whisper
(finale)
The truth doesn't need to shout
You've got my attention
Though my strength is small
Though I often fall
I am always listening
Listening
To hear your still, small voice
Like a whisper
(verse 1)
I was Elijah in the desert
Despairing of my life
All alone with my fear
I had no more excuses
And no one left to blame
Death seemed an easy escape
(verse 2)
But like Elijah on Horeb
The LORD questioned me:
"What are you doing here?"
I didn't have an answer
I couldn't find the words
But then the LORD passed by
(chorus)
The wind that night
Could have torn apart the mountains
And lightning flashed
Like fire in the sky
The thunder roared
And shook the earth's foundations
The rain poured down
To wash away my tears
And my heart of stone
Was shattered in His presence
And in the aftermath of that storm
I heard His voice
Like a whisper
(verse 3)
I am David at Adullam
Running for my life
My courage fails at every turn
I'm in the valley of the shadow
And it's hard to see the light
But I hope in the LORD my God
(chorus)
The wind that night
Could have torn apart the mountains
And lightning flashed
Like fire in the sky
The thunder roared
And shook the earth's foundations
The rain poured down
To wash away my tears
And my heart of stone
Was shattered in His presence
And in the aftermath of that storm
I heard His voice
Like a whisper
(verse 4)
I've been called like Jeremiah
Young and so afraid
His Word a fire in my heart
God is with me like a warrior
He rescues and He saves
And I stand only because
(chorus)
The wind that night
Could have torn apart the mountains
And lightning flashed
Like fire in the sky
The thunder roared
And shook the earth's foundations
The rain poured down
To wash away my tears
And my heart of stone
Was shattered in His presence
And in the aftermath of that storm
I heard His voice
Like a whisper
(finale)
The truth doesn't need to shout
You've got my attention
Though my strength is small
Though I often fall
I am always listening
Listening
To hear your still, small voice
Like a whisper
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